JOY

JOY!!! That's what I'm focused on the whole today. Some people could read me, that I'm in distressed. But, overall I could overcome it. I pushed back all dominating and distressing things in my mind. All I want to do is just having fun from now on. When I look back to what I'm thinking when I was greatly distressed, it was just ridiculous beside all the relevance with the condition today. I found it more important to please Him than just to struggle with the pressure pressing me. It's true as a matter of fact to undergo such a situation when you find that everybody doesn't want you to be there which finally distresses you. It's just common. But, that's not what I'm talking about. The point is what your decision is, whether you want to live under that kind of pressure and be killed or you want to get out of it and conquer it all. It's just that simple. Enjoy your life bhro.....!!!!

Being Overwhelmed

It's just funny, I was terribly distressed just before I went to church. I was just... I don't know... I just felt greatly distressed, seems like it'd better for me to leave all this stuff and just go out of this place, this city. I just wanted to escape, or just be off. It seems like the whole world is rejecting me. But, I've been here since by birth. So, they have to accept my being here.
However, the first exercise (music band) started a bit late. I've quite enjoyed the exercise in fact. But, I felt something strange and unusual in that exercise. The matter is we're all not connected one another. That's why the exercise was just... strange. Finally, the WL stopped the exercise and told us to go home and prepare our hearts for tomorrow service.
So then, I continued my activity with the next exercise for the morning one. There were only two of us (me and Steffi) playing for the morning service. I've focused my mind since it hadn't been started. I put my thought into the captivity of Christ (as the Word says). It was instantly changed!! I don't know why. It may be because of the WL too, Effi's mom. The atmosphere changed!! Since then I enjoyed the exercise so much despite we were only two playing the music. Now I feel better. I could see the world from a different point of view. It was all because of the previous exercise. I refuse to die earlier or to "minggat". Hehe...
I love being rejected this way. It shows me that my existence here does mean something and must have a great importance that nearly everybody try hard to kill me psychologically.
I just stand on one sentence, "Love never fails". When I'm in distressed, I just go to my "secret place" and hide there until I'm calmed. Hehe.. That's my life, so many distressing situation.

Morning Wake Up

Man, why do there have to be evening-night-dawn??? It would be better if there weren't any night or the sleep at night. It's just such a wasting of time. A day consisting of 24 hours would've been more effectively gone through if it had been filled with a 24-hour activity nonstop. Because there's night now, most humans, the busy ones, have to spend about 2-4 hours only for sleep time. For those still studying in high school or university, you must know that in that range of time there can be done so many activities, especially studying and playing, that life can be full. But, I think it would be boring enough too if we only live in the days without dark or night at all.hehehe... (just thinking)

Astrology??

D'ya ever thing about life pattern, manly characteristic, etc. which is controlled by the position of stars?? I once thought about it for quite a while. It's said everyone born in the same period of time and, more specifically in the same month, has similar characteristics. When I think about it, putting those who were born in the same month as me, we have such a similar characteristic, stick to the rule, honoring justice so much, all has to be done with effort that nothing will be gained without work. That's why we are all "keras", a bit headstrong. However, there's something I found interesting concerning this thing in the bible. It's said in the bible that the devil tried to change season and time (which means what I've talked before) and God is the God controlling ones. So, we're all who have been saved by the grace no longer controlled by that kind of seasons controlling. Your characteristics have to be changed to be more and more like him. So, that kind of grace allows you and I to live not according to such astrology and anything similar to it. We ourselves decide what to do and how to live. Actually, it's scientific to tell people about their future or current life according to the stars constellation. It's proven.

Young Executive

Business Appointment

Busy
Hehehe...

Life

What to do with the life itself?
There's such a divine nature which draws one to the destiny.
Trying to leave and get rid of it is just useless.
Want to live and have joy in it??
Join me in this adventure!
None to do with the direction, it's just it.
Just do what have to be done,
endure suffering for just a while of this period of life.
Actually, all my path is suffering.
No gain without losses.
It looks weird in my community to have such a life.
But, this is it.
I've made my decision and no turning back for me
coz my life is not my own anymore,
everyday I pace this path,
the more I die and become full.
This is the way I live,
to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
The essential thing is living with the divine nature,
gaining the divine power more and more.
Wanna try??

Escaping

Talking about life,
what a tough one I've undergone so far,
gaining so much in reaching a higher purpose,
pacing each day with such a hope to keep existing,
leaving those not deserving to be hold,
struggling to keep standing,
being selective in the matter of companionship,
strengthening my own faith,
being dead of my own to gain the real life,
and finally undesirably standing alone.

I've tried to escape,
thousands of time I've tried to leave this pathway,
but I've reached the edge of my strength,
being drawn back to my first pathway,
and start again from the start.

So, where to escape??
I agree with you all,
Faith is my escape.