Being Overwhelmed

It's just funny, I was terribly distressed just before I went to church. I was just... I don't know... I just felt greatly distressed, seems like it'd better for me to leave all this stuff and just go out of this place, this city. I just wanted to escape, or just be off. It seems like the whole world is rejecting me. But, I've been here since by birth. So, they have to accept my being here.
However, the first exercise (music band) started a bit late. I've quite enjoyed the exercise in fact. But, I felt something strange and unusual in that exercise. The matter is we're all not connected one another. That's why the exercise was just... strange. Finally, the WL stopped the exercise and told us to go home and prepare our hearts for tomorrow service.
So then, I continued my activity with the next exercise for the morning one. There were only two of us (me and Steffi) playing for the morning service. I've focused my mind since it hadn't been started. I put my thought into the captivity of Christ (as the Word says). It was instantly changed!! I don't know why. It may be because of the WL too, Effi's mom. The atmosphere changed!! Since then I enjoyed the exercise so much despite we were only two playing the music. Now I feel better. I could see the world from a different point of view. It was all because of the previous exercise. I refuse to die earlier or to "minggat". Hehe...
I love being rejected this way. It shows me that my existence here does mean something and must have a great importance that nearly everybody try hard to kill me psychologically.
I just stand on one sentence, "Love never fails". When I'm in distressed, I just go to my "secret place" and hide there until I'm calmed. Hehe.. That's my life, so many distressing situation.