Alone

This is not a movie title. This is such a real situation happening to me. I was such a stupid man walking down the street, seeking for someone who wanted to hear me tell my story or just a simple speech I made. It was ridiculous to think about it today. Someone had changed me a lot. However, the changes are tried to be changed again today. I have no idea of what is happening to me nowadays, or recently more suitably to say. It's just strange.... and..... I don't like it at all!!! Something is changing in my community. It's..... weird!!! It's a bit insane.
I have a friend, again I retell this story. I have a friend whose name is xxxxxxx. This one is the strangest friend I've ever had. When he is in bad mood, he will behave rudely to others, include me. But, funnily, when he is in a happy condition, he becomes my best friend. Again, this is a man, not a woman. To tell the truth, this was started the last two months. I didn't know why for the first. But then, after I quite insisted him to tell me the truth, he said that, (I could conclude it with a more polite way) I was .... peep..... (censored). I had no idea at all that I'd done such a thing that seemed bad to others. They never told me. So I tried then to change my behavior. May be I should stop talking from now on (to them). Everything I say is wrong for them. I thought it might be better (the realm). However, it wasn't as I thought. He changed more drastically. He said everything was alright. Yeah... I wish it was alright. I hope so.
The strangest thing happens today!!! I sent him so many sms, nearly 20 messages, distributed to his two cellphone. But, guess what!! He didn't answer the sms I wished he'd answered it. He answered only the unimportant sms-es. I hope everything was alright. He was just.... strange!! I'd apologized to him for everything I'd done in the past for those I consciously did and for those which I did unconsciously. I didn't know anything else to say. Astonishingly, he didn't answer all that kind of sms of mine!! Please, help me!!! He didn't want to meet me at all today. I don't know why.
I know for today and a few days to go, this page can only be seen by one person. That's why I write this now. I hope you read it....
Sad, grieving, depressed.... Those are my condition now.
Btw, I'm sorry to write this story in English again, for I've committed to fill this blog with only English paragraphs.... hehe....