Now

It's been eight months since I first change my personality. Believe it or not, it was just like a rolling gear. The surrounding changes me back into I was before I entered the university. Everybody forced me to be alone. I have nobody to trust anymore. In fact, I've had nobody to confide in for such a long time till now. It is ridiculous, isn't it? Everybody around me forces me to look everybody as suspiciously as I can (I think the grammar is wrong... I don't know the correct sentence..). The ones I trust the most leave me one by one secretly. It is undeniable that this happens to me in exams period. I really couldn't concentrate to study. All I can do is just praying that He would take this cup from me... Hehe... (trying to escape)
Since I couldn't trust anybody, I couldn't tell what I'm undergoing now even to those I used to think they are the closest to me. The only think I've done since two days ago is not to eat any food (containing full ingredient for a formal or informal dine). I just drank mizone, water, and milk (milo of course). Yesterday I was forced to eat bread. So I ate it. But today I don't want to eat anything, just want to lament or just forgetting the past step by step 'cause every time I tried to remember those beautiful days I suddenly cried (too melancholic..). However, I have to face it all by myself since I have nobody to stand beside me anymore. Hikz.... Hikz....