Sick

I'm sick of this all!!! I was once longing for the true friendship and I thought I've got it. Surely, it overflows me till now. However, guess what, it was destructed all of sudden!!! It was just gone!!! I became a hopeless man, desiring only to give up this life. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried my best to keep the friendship as it was begun 7 months ago. All has changed. All changed!!! Noone can ever deny it!! All has changed!!! In fact, it's still changing now!!!!
The day after I confessed what I felt to him as clear as I could, the friendship was broken. He hated me fully, wholly. Of what reason??? It was because I kicked a cat while it was eating something which I thought not a food. But it was done that time!!! I couldn't go back to the past and repair this stuff.
Amazingly, he changed his mind, seeing my hopelessness. He decided to forgive me, which, I don't know whether it was a complete forgiveness or just a part of the complete forgiveness. As a matter of fact, despite my willingness to have all back to the first step, as we were once building this friendship, he had changed. He didn't care anymore of what I'm facing, of what happened to me, what I was struggling, what I feel, and many more... While, I'm still watching over him, caring his regular life and all his activities, his work, his readiness to face the exam, his meal, his feeling most importantly, his mood as always, and so on.
I don't know why he changed this far while we had made an agreement that we would start again from the beginning like we started this friendship 7 months ago. He was just.... I don't know... What happened to him actually??? Does he have a problem right now???
One thing I learned from this situation is that friendship is such an agreement between two sides with both sides agreeing one thing, that is to walk together and lift the other up when they're down or praising him when he get success. A friend walk right beside his friend, not behind or in front of him. I hope we could be back to the old days... to the happy days of knowing that friendship does mean something to both of us. There were so many trauma in my life about friendship and I hope this wouldn't be the next trauma. I can change to be better...

Friendship---