Christian

No Title

2009-06-01T01:45:00.002+07:00

Finally we arrive at the awaited moment. The days after the launching of Kingdom Movement which we did a week ago in Savoy Homann Hotel. It was surely exhausting to have worked since we first decided to make the magazine and design it till we eventually finished the design and continued our work with the clip while in fact it didn't work at all as it was supposed to at the launching event. Haha... After we finished taking the video for the clip, we moved on to preparing the whole things for the conference and the drama in the launching moment. Man... I just have never imagined to undergo such a model of life with such a price to pay. Days and nights we worked for the magazine for nearly more than two weeks until the completion. I couldn't go to campus at all on that two weeks.
However, we finished it then. Haha...

Year 2009

2009-01-28T10:37:00.002+07:00

Finally we arrived at this very awaited year.... 2009... with all the meaning in the number contained in that year. Our theme this year is just "smile".

Birthday Celebration

2008-12-08T01:55:00.003+07:00

Tepat H-1 (kmarin) gw ultah. Rencananya, gw mau lakuin smw yang gw suka doank. Dimulai dari ke gereja pagi (wajib yang ini), trs ke charmy snow ice, starbucks, es shanghai fadhilah, sama trakhir makan2 bareng tmen2. Tapi, smuanya batal. Akhirnya dari gereja malah ujan, jd lgsg ke acara makan2, tp gw ditraktir!!!!! Di Hanamasa pula!!!!! asik abz deh... Bayangin aja saking lapernya, makan lahap, akhirnya ga makan lagi malemnya gara2 kenyang banget. Oya, kita makan ber4 doank, tmen2 dari grup band. Asik deh... trs langsung cabut ke gereja lagi, buat ibadah yang malem (yang ini yang super wajibnya, gw g blh smpe kelewat). Di gereja... eh sebelumnya, waktu baru beres gereja yang siang, ada tmn gw yg bilang punya lagu baru, nyuruh gw maenin keyboardnya, dia kasih chordnya. Gubrag!! Lagu happy birthday ternyata... pliz deh... maenin bwt diri sendiri. Trs satu persatu nyelametin lagi, mulai dari para leader, ko inan, beserta istri, Erwin lagi (H-1 udah soalnya), trs pastor yang laennya jg, dan berakhir dengan pulang. Oya, balik lagi ke yang tadi. Seudah di gereja lagi, kita langsung latihan bwt yang jam 4. Ya, latihan asik, beres... Ibadah panjang, undescribable. Harus liat sendiri. Seudah itu pulang, makan malem di chili padi, my suggestion. Cuma mau swamp things nya sih. Trs balik, n langsung OL. Ya ngetik ini skrg.
Overall ultah kali ini berkesan dari sisi yang blom pernah gw lewatin. Asik banget, ada traktiran (salah satu hadiah ultah), dll. Yg sbnernya jadi masalah tu di sisi ucapan slamatnya yang agak ga biasa. Smuanya yang biasanya inget malah lupa kali ini. Trs tmn2 maen di kmps juga pada lupa. Ya bbrp inget sih, dengan bantuan facebook. Dengan bantuan friendster juga sebagian lagi inget. Yang jadi masalah, temen2 dari aksel dlu pada lupa kayanya, telat ampir smuanya, satu malahan dah lewat hari. Parah!!!! Tapi no prob!! Pada inget udah keren!!
Yang agak berkesan kali ini, gw kehilangan rasa percaya sma bnyk orang karena apresiasi melalui ucapan slamat ultah kan penting, harusnya jadi first priority klo di dunia psikologi. Tapi keliatannya Dia sudah berhasil membuat gw kali ini fully unimportant. Sampe smua orang lupa sm gw. Hikz... T_T... No prob jg deh.. At least kali ini ada satu yang inget H-1 (kalo yang lewat facebook agak ga kaci ah.. ), satu tempat ibadah, sama jurusan, cuma beda subjur yang jadi susah klo nanya soal kuliah. Yah.. kalo sibuk, pasti beda lah... Beda kampus jelas2an. Sadiku gw di dia...T_T... tidak bersama-sama dengan sahabat bermain dan belajar untuk beberapa hari.. (skalipun udah pny fotokopiannya juga sih..tetep aja beda!!). Awas aja kalo kuis sama ujiannya ga dapet sempurna!!!! Oya, Win, ntr hrs liat spesifikasi tubes yang kali ini, dari algo strukdat, gw sklpk sm ank EL smua, gada IF, jadi harus berjuang neh....
Hoho.... overall, ultah ini mbwt gw harus nentuin/nglasifikasi orang2 ke dalam kategori teman, kenalan, teman yang cm manfaatin, sahabat (mimpi kayanya...), teman baik, ato orang-orang yang harus diwaspadai gara2 saking manipulatifnya, supaya tau cara menjaga kedekatan sosiologisnya, tau gmn harus berinteraksi, bwt efektivitas sm efisiensi waktu aja sih, biar ga pusing udah kegiatannya super banyak, jadinya kan lebih teratur filing data2 di otak, ga kaya kemaren yang gampang stres gara2 otak ngehang penuh teuing sama input ga jelas dari kampus dan sekitarnya. Udah ah, ngantuk, tidur dlu.... Thx a lot everybody bwt ucapan slamatnya, keren deh pada inget, di H-1 liburan satu hari doank. Hehe....

Perjuangan

2008-11-29T00:51:00.003+07:00

/* Ada di atas fotokopian di Sipil */

"PERJUANGAN ADALAH PELAKSANAAN KATA-KATA"

Berjuang berarti melaksanakan kata-katanya...... Iya nggak???
Kalo gada hasil dari perkataannya, brarti blom berjuang jadinya donk....

Time to Study

2008-11-28T22:37:00.002+07:00

It's getting crazier now! Still have faith to survive?? Just thinking about it can make my brain sick. I now my track record in campus is decreasing to a certain point which in the sight of my friends is quite disappointing according to my first semester "IP". I'm too lazy to tell them the real condition I'm undergoing. However, nobody knows or even cares that I have so many task to do despite my lecture in campus and all the tasks in it. I don't know how to survive here with these busy life. It's just irrational as I said before when I was in acceleration class. All the activities, which in fact, none of them is unimportant, are pressing me down to my knees. It was insane to undergo such a path of life this way, from one problem to another one to another again and again for quite a time with many switching in a day. Amazingly, it is for the very seven days in a week. Having faith?? Any courage?? I lay my life down just as if I throw my anchor of faith to the next room, the back one, the sacred one. I have no more strength in my own body and mind to live such a path of life if I rely on my own strength. I just throw the anchor as far as I can, not seeing the next state, just believing the path I have chosen and the path I have to choose for the next state, switching to 0 or 1, binary coded one. Trying to escape doesn't result in anything. It just bring me lower and lower again, blurring my future. Though now I see all things dimly, I just believe that someday I'll see them as clear as sunlight goes through a diamond. Having friend to confide in?? None at all. None could be believed. None is the same. None is even undergoing the same situation even for the type of the busy life. Pacing the path alone sometimes makes me down and kills my courage. Nevertheless, I take it as the path, the only one I have to choose with no other switch to be chosen. Studying to live or living to study? I choose the first one now. I chose the second before. To live is to die the "me" inside. I decide to know nothing but one, that I'm saved for one, and for one I have to "die" of the "me" inside my mind. To know nothing but the real purpose of my life which is absolutely not only to study in the lecture condition or to get as high mark as possible in the sight of geek people in my class whose purpose are so blurred or more visibly not existing in their mind. I choose not the meaningless life as my classmates, some of them, do. What is a mark itself? Is it the real representation of one's effort in the lecture? Does it represent the real value of one's life? Or it just jailed the area of life of the people to converge their life into just one ilogical and meaningless life? Saying that life is to be pace with only courage to survive?? Why? What is surviving anyway?? Is it to live, staying alive?? or just to keep your ego lives and doubles its effect in one's mind? Not caring about the life of others, just choosing to keep one's safety only in one's irrational vicinity? Nonsense!! Life is like a moving electron, to move from one structure to the other and to increase everytime, moving collectively as a wave of particle, not lonely as one's life. Dare to be different and to choose the irrational path...

Hanya Berpikir

2008-10-22T20:24:00.002+07:00

Cape bgt harusny hari ini.. Tapi anehnya, begitu santai, nuansa males bljr begitu kuat. Smua terasa berjalan leumpeung ga jelas, aneh bgt.. Hidup terasa jadi sebuah pilihan yang salah. Tak ada tujuan, tak ada harapan, maunya kabur. Aneh bgt, smua orang sibuk dengan smua urusan, lalu lalang tanpa terlihat di matanya ada gairah dalam berbuat, berkarya, atau bertindak. Setiap orang terlihat seperti berfokus pada diri sendiri saja. Hari ini bner aneh bgt deh.. Blajar, tapi ga tau buat apa, bernafas, tapi ga tau knp bisa nafas dan buat apa nafas slama ini. Apa sudah ada sesuatu yang diperbuat? Apa hidup udah jadi makna bagi seseorang atau sesuatu? Apa langkah yang diambil sudah bnar? Apa hidup hanya sebatas pemenuhan kebutuhan ego pribadi? Apa hidup hanya terpusat pada ambisi dan nafsu semata yang diputarbalikkan melalui dalih untuk bahagia dunia dan akhirat? Apa arti hidup ini sbnrny? Kalau hidup hanya untuk bahagia diri sendiri sih, mending ke laut aja, mati aja skalian langsung biar ga usah ngerepotin orang laen, ato malah jadi beban yang ngeganggu hidup orang laen jg. Apa sih tujuan hidup? Kalo cuma buat sgala sesuatu tentang "aku" dan "aku" dan "aku", hidup sana di gua sndirian, jangan ganggu ato interaksi sm orang laen, ngurangin persediaan oksigen aja kerjanya. Buat apa hidup klo cm buat sukses pribadi doank? tambah kaya, tambah buncit, tambah mewah, tapi bangsanya sendiri ga dapet apa2 dr dia? tiap hari konsumsi smua dari tanah ini, tapi makin berumur bukannya nabur sesuatu di tanah ini, malah ngeruk terus tanah ini.. manusia macam apa ky gtu? Tiap hari mahasiswa jalanin hidup cm buat nilai, ato klo ngga berdalih dengan buat tmen2 di kampusnya dia ngelakuin banyak hal, ato lebih parahnya lagi, malah seneng2 doank hidupny di atas penderitaan rakyat massal yg duitny ternyata secara rumit akhirny berakhir di biaya pendidikan (subsidi) per orang mahasiswa ITB yg pada dasarnya disubsidi oleh pemda dan masyarakat sekitar, bukan lagi oleh pemerintah pusat. Udah lakuin apa aja sih kita slama ini? Apa udah ada sesuatu yang hebat yang kita lakuin? Smua cuma fokus sm diri sendiri, tanpa ada kontribusi di lingkungan sosial. Adakah kehidupan ini hanya untuk ego yang tiap hari dipenuhi dan dipuaskan?? Atau hidup untuk menjadi terang bagi gelapnya tanah ini, gelapnya dunia ini?? Merenung tanpa landasan bukan solusi, tapi langkah maju dan tindakan menjadi bukti..
Hari ganti hari smoga eksistensi setiap kita bukan karna kebetulan dan jelas memiliki tujuan yang bukan egosentris tapi untuk sosial dan sekitar.

Subuh Bersama TUBES

2008-10-14T20:55:00.002+07:00

Gila bner hari ini. Gw ga tau lagi harus gimana. Tugas yang namanya banyak tuh bener2 banyak dan berjibul smw dalam satu waktu yang sama. Mulai dari elektron, kuliah (matek, strukdat, RE, dkk.), tubes strukdat yang gila juga, kerjaan ngajar yang makin2 memakan alokasi memori dan kebutuhan processing data di otak, dan urusan gereja yang bertumpu pada kegiatan2nya yang pada kenyataannya bertabrakan dengan hampir smua kegiatan kampus. Sekarang aja msh lg ngerjain tubes yg agk aneh banyaknya. Gtw deh... Ngantuk, quiz matek gmn lagi ini..... blm blajar bagian yang paling pentingnya lagi. duh..duh..duh... klo ditmbah masalah, bisa gila bner nih...

Today We Start The Craziness

2008-10-14T00:30:00.002+07:00

It's the first day of our lecture again in this month. The first day was supposed to be a bright day, a day full of new hope, and a day with wider perspective to face this life in taking every step of our lives. However, that was just my hope with no realization at all!!! What I faced yesterday (because today has been Tuesday) was terribly exhausting. They were all exploiting me!! I was forced to do more and more, more than my body could take. All the pressures comes from all aspects of my life, of every circumstance I face. It's a miracle that I can still stand today because everything means everything in my life which is pressing me, not just campus life, but also church matter, the school where I work as a part time teacher, and also my home life. Feeling lonely?? Of course.. but, hope this will finish soon..

Ni coverny hasil coret2 ngasal, gmn???

2008-10-11T13:21:00.000+07:00

Chapel This Morning

2008-10-08T11:28:00.003+07:00

I couldn't imagined undergoing such an event with this kind of misery. I was told to lead the chapel this morning while in fact I've never done such a duty. This was my first time. I didn't know of what to say in front of everybody. Embarrassingly, I was speechless before everyone in the room. Though it was for only 15 minutes I was that nervous because the people were all children from kindergarten until eleventh grade. Ridiculously, they were just watching me all that time.

Underpressure Holiday

2008-10-06T21:34:00.002+07:00

Hari ini detik-detik yang dilalui begitu terasa melelahkan. Percaya ga percaya, hari ini salah satu hari yang paling tidak efektif dari himpunan waktu-waktu yang tidak efektif dari hidup gw. Skrg bandung lagi panas2nya, tp suka tiba2 ujan jg. aneh bgt sih.. Hari ini juga kampus mulai aktif lagi. Himpunan2 mulai terbuka lagi pintunya (beberapa dikunci slama liburan seminggu kmrn). Tp secara gw salah satu kuncennya HME untuk pagi-sore blom k HME lg. Agak males jalan jauhnya dari parkiran motor sih. Enakny ntr klo k HME pasti bersih2 mulai dari nyapu, ngepel, sm rapiin barang2 dalem ruangan utama. Btw, ngomong2 soal belajar, gw dah ada di batas 50% suntuk sm strukdis n matek saking banyaknya teorema2 sm conjecture, lemma, dll yg aneh2 smua (ga jelas gtu pembuktiannya). Tp berhubung mulai mg dpan dah kul lg n kmgknan besar kuis bwt tiap matkul, jd gw blajar deh.. Males jg sih tiap semangat bljr malah jd kebablasan blajar, tp tiap cape bgt kebablasan tidur. Skarang sih msh netral, smbil ntn Looney Tunes Back in Action blajar matek, RE, sm strukdis (selang-seling tergantung mood). Kangen bgt sm tmen2 HME!!!!! Tp balik k kampus brarti smw tgs mulai dikerjain. Hikz... males bgt... mending blajar aja deh drpd ngerjain tgs2 bkn bidangnya (hahaha..mentang2 anak EL..)

A Day of Studying

2008-10-04T22:44:00.002+07:00

Yah.. supaya pada ngerti, akhirnya gw ubah bahasanya deh.hehehe...
Hari ini seneng sekaligus sbel banget. Senengnya gara2 dari 24 jam waktu yang ada, 20 jam teroptimasi dengan sangat baik untuk belajar dan refreshing. Sbelnya gara2 gak ngerti2 strukdis yang complexity of algorithm tentang time complexity. Bahasa dewa bner itu bacaan tulisannya Rosen. Overall, hari ini topik Jend Ahmad Yani, A.H. Nasution, Soebandrio cukup menantang petualangan baca. Jadi, selain waktu2 yang ada gw abisin bwt baca Rosen + ngerangkum, gw jg baca bukunya Rum Aly dari perpus HME. Baru 90an halaman sih, tapi pergolakan politik sama darah di bukunya keren abz!!! Semangat deh kalo baca itu buku.. Tapi, tetep harus objektif, jangan terlalu terbawa emosi yang ada di alur cerita bukunya, ntar bisa2 jadi berat sebelah memihak golongan tertentu deh. Yah, pastinya hari ini optimasi waktu gw lebih baik drpd optimasi rangkaian digital ato rangkaian logika frank vahid. Hahaha... Met malem bwt gw...

A Surprise for Amy

2008-09-25T21:33:00.002+07:00

It was fascinating today coz we arranged an event for Amy, one of our best friends, to celebrate her birthday today. Actually, the idea came from a special person. As the camouflage we told her that we'd have buka bareng today for K-09 only in Bima and Kresno's house. The preparation had begun since yesterday. It was started by the conference talking about the things we were going to do this evening. Then Kresno was chosen as the PJ for the birthday cake. I suggest a place to buy the cake coz I like the cream so much.
It was continued today, this morning. We confirmed everyone about the event tonight at Bima's. Nearly everybody we invited had had an event that they couldnt come this evening. However, we kept saying that it would be done this evening. After Sisdig time, I went to Setiabudhi Supermarket with Kresno to buy a few things to brighten the birthday surprise today. Just after that we went to Es Shanghai to buy 10 packs of es shanghai there for tonight's tajilan.
At the time, few minutes before Amy arrived, we prepared the gifts and the candles and also the cakes. I was told to play the song happy birthday for her. When everyone came out of the piano room, they sang the song together while I played the piano. Surprisingly, I found amy with tears falling from her eyes saying thanks to everyone. I was quite surprised too that time since I thought it would be another way. The main point here is I was glad that she is happy today because somebody is delighted too seeing her happy that way.hehehe....
Happy birthday, Amy!!!!

Brain Problem in the 3rd Semester

2008-09-24T00:06:00.002+07:00

However, this is out of electron tasks, I want to write in English again.

I'm now entering such a realm with more tension in every aspect of my life. First, I'm undergoing such a degradation of my brain's health because I hardly understand what the lectures are all about. Secondly, I have a terrible schedule problem. I can't fit all my lecture schedule to my church schedule and my teaching schedule in the international school. As the result, everything becomes ruin. I have no idea of how to resolve this now. The last one, I have to spend more money in unimportant things for lecture.
Going to the first problem, I don't know why I hardly slept late. My body automatically turns my eyes off every midnight. And also I can't concentrate if I have no lunch everyday. I hate this because it wasn't this way last semester. I try to solve this by eating more every evening (after bukpus time).
Next, I always study another thing every lecture. I nearly never pay attention to what the lecturer said since I believer myself to be better in making my brain understand the matter rather than listening to the lecture given in the class. First, they explain the lecture too fast and with another planet's language. Besides, I nearly don't have time to study at home first which makes me study them while I'm teaching or in lecture time. Hehehe...
Help me....!!!!!

Persahabatan

2008-09-12T21:36:00.006+07:00

This is the task for all elektron's cakru to write an article with of any topics. I hardly write it in Indonesian but I have to. Just enjoy reading it.. I write another article to support this one empirically in the source and the theories supporting this friendship discussion.

Theme : Social Interaction

Title : Friendship (Persahabatan)

Dalam hubungan sosial, persahabatan merupakan bentuk atau model interaksi sosial yang tergolong memiliki jarak keintiman interpersonal cukup tinggi. Hal ini didukung kuat oleh kenyataan bahwa persahabatan melibatkan penghargaan, pengetahuan, dan afeksi yang mencapai kesetaraan di antara kedua belah pihak di dalam hubungan persahabatan tersebut. Persahabatan dibangun oleh kesesuaian minat atau bakat dan frekuensi pertemuan yang tinggi untuk proses perkenalan serta pemahaman interpersonal. Ciri utama dari hubungan persahabatan yaitu terlihat pada sikap dan tingkah laku yang berbalasan serta reflektif satu terhadap lainnya. Akibatnya, hal ini akan menimbulkan konvergensi di dalam pembentukan karakter setiap pribadi di dalam hubungan tersebut.
Seiring dengan berjalannya persahabatan tersebut terhadap waktu akan muncul nilai-nilai baru, antara lain keinginan untuk mencapai keadaan yang terbaik bagi kedua belah pihak, sikap dan rasa simpati serta empati, kejujuran antara kedua pribadi, dan rasa saling pengertian yang hanya ada di dalam hubungan interpersonal dengan tingkat kedekatan cukup tinggi. Akan tetapi, persahabatan di mata setiap orang berbeda-beda bergantung pada latar belakang dan kondisi sosial masyarakat tempat terbangunnya hubungan persahabatan tersebut. Hal ini didukung oleh adanya teori-teori interaksi sosial, seperti teori pertukaran sosial, teori sosial simbolis, teori identitas, teori keadilan, psikologi sosial, dialektika relasional, dan lain-lain.
Secara umum, persahabatan bukan hanya sekadar hubungan pertemanan biasa yang dapat dibangun dalam waktu singkat. Pengujian terhadap suatu hubungan persahabatan merupakan pengujian kesetiaan antarpribadi terhadap waktu. Indikator kekuatan sebuah persahabatan dilihat dari tingkat kepedulian antarpribadi, kesetiaan, dan afeksi yang dinamis.

Persahabatan adalah warna, kehidupan, langkah yang terarah di dalam perjalanan panjang ini..

Gather

2008-09-11T23:27:00.002+07:00

Tired!!!
Missing you all, accelerz!!!!!
I've observed many kinds of friendship and I've found one new model of friendship where togetherness takes role in it. I like this one. Actually, I accidentally join the group to have dinner tonight. There I found friendship not only as a term of condition but also as a realm, a life, something that is not fake because it is inside everyone in that group and that connects everybody there to become one. It was great. I'm willing to have that one.

Friend, in my friend's opinion

2008-09-08T01:09:00.001+07:00

Again I publish this writing just because I want people to read it, my friend's writing two months ago..

Mempunyai satu sahabat sejati lebih berharga dari seribu teman yang mementingkan diri sendiri.

Apa yang kita alami demi teman kadang-kadang melelahkan dan menjengkelkan, tetapi itulah yang membuat persahabatan mempunyai nilai yang indah.

Persahabatan sering menyuguhkan beberapa cobaan, tetapi persahabatan sejati bisa mengatasi cobaan itu bahkan bertumbuh bersama karenanya…

Persahabatan tidak terjalin secara otomatis tetapi membutuhkan proses yang panjang seperti besi menajamkan besi, demikianlah sahabat menajamkan sahabatnya.

Persahabatan diwarnai dengan berbagai pengalaman suka dan duka, dihibur - disakiti, diperhatikan - dikecewakan, didengar - diabaikan, dibantu - ditolak, namun semua ini tidak pernah sengaja dilakukan dengan tujuan kebencian.

Seorang sahabat tidak akan menyembunyikan kesalahan untuk menghindari perselisihan, justru karena kasihnya ia memberanikan diri menegur apa adanya.

Sahabat tidak pernah membungkus pukulan dengan ciuman, tetapi menyatakan apa yang amat menyakitkan dengan tujuan sahabatnya mau berubah.

Proses dari teman menjadi sahabat membutuhkan usaha pemeliharaan dari kesetiaan, tetapi bukan pada saat kita membutuhkan bantuan barulah kita memiliki motivasi mencari perhatian, pertolongan dan pernyataaan kasih dari orang lain, tetapi justru ia berinisiatif memberikan dan mewujudkan apa yang dibutuhkan oleh sahabatnya.

Kerinduannya adalah menjadi bagian dari kehidupan sahabatnya, karena tidak ada persahabatan yang diawali dengan sikap egoistis. Semua orang pasti membutuhkan sahabat sejati, namun tidak semua orang berhasil mendapatkannya. Banyak pula orang yang telah menikmati indahnya persahabatan, namun ada juga yang begitu hancur karena dikhianati sahabatnya.

Ingatlah kapan terakhir kali kamu berada dalam kesulitan. Siapa yang berada di samping kamu ?? Siapa yang mengasihi kamu saat kamu merasa tidak dicintai ?? Siapa yang ingin bersama kamu saat kamu tak bisa memberikan apa-apa ??

MEREKALAH SAHABATMU

Hargai dan peliharalah selalu persahabatanmu

(written by Gerard)

Electron (Elektron)

2008-09-08T00:37:00.002+07:00

Actually, it's still difficult for me to write in Indonesian for this blog. But, finally my idealism comes to an end that I have to report all the activities and all the tasks given in every session of the recruitment process. In fact, there had been once. On last Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. there was the second meeting in Multimedia Room in Labtek VIII in campus. The first session was about the history of Electron Magazine and its development until the stop of the production. Then we had a short break for about only less than 50 minutes. Briefly we had to gather again in the same room to have the second session about journalism. It was unpredictably interesting for me. In fact, I didn't like the first part of the journalism topic which made me terribly sleepy. But it was ended with a very interesting topic, journalistic ethics. I will write another writing about the contents discussed by the speaker last Saturday, specialized only to fulfill the task given by the head of Elektron before I went out of campus for a while. I can't imagine writing in Indonesian in this English blog.... T_T.....

Friend

2008-09-05T19:07:00.003+07:00

I'm thinking about an existence.
I believe friendship is not a fake thing. It's as real as your being today.
Friend is one of many treasures in the world that one hardly get without love.
Friend is all about first priority, such a classified thing.
To have friends just mean having second most precious jewelry in the world, or in the universe perhaps.
Friends are all about affection, endurance, care, hope, love, and finally existence.
It's not about something you can get that easily.
Friendship means that you're not totally alone,
that somebody loves and cares about you,
that you're special to someone,
that you mean something to people around you,
that you are loved.
Friend is the one who shows the best of you, brings it out, support you to reach it.
Friend may fail in doing favor for you, but friendship never ends.
There's nothing final between friends.
Once I experienced the end of something one calls friendship, such a rubbish of society.
Nevertheless, I regret having such a thinking before.
In my opinion, friendship is something lasting for a lifetime.
I don't know why my last closest friend ended up our friendship so strangely and quite hates me that bad. However, I can't stand keeping myself being distressed with such a thing. I have to stand for my own life.
Friends can mean paradise while in the same time being hell mutually.
Friendship...
a long journey of education in life...
the sweetness of life...

2008-09-03T21:24:00.002+07:00

Finally I have time to open this page again..hahaha...
Having been through many circumstances so far I realize one thing that everything has to change. It's impossible for one to get stuck in only a particular condition that one going static with the current condition. I'm trying hard to get on with it too. It's been six months since the first start and I thought it would've finished already. But it's still moving until now. Courage and faith is my foundation to keep standing today along with joy and merry. So far I've changed my mindset in term of the reality of friendship. It's changed in fact. Guess what!! (just forget it!!)
Today I have one new house more in Bandung beside my real home here in Cikawao which is HME at the basement of technology laboratory VIII in ITB. It's the largest basecamp/office for a "himpunan" or set in ITB according to the area it has. However, I enjoy being there so much since it has so many LAN cable and there is a bed for anybody to sleep there. I got used to sleep on the sofa in the living room. Funnily, my bad behaviour came along with me yesterday that I hate to see such a condition of messiness there with the books on the floor. That's why I put all the books (according to their genres) in the library cupboard until there was no thick book on the floor except for the MBC books. There I met everybody older than me and had a little chit chat with them. Since then I realize one important thing that we have to run a brief program of making HME beautiful by tiding up the room inside. First, we can start from the main room, the living room in the middle with the little canteen. Then we move to the divkom room. The last one we have to tidy up the WS room. It is so messy!! Hahaha...
It's been three days of fasting for moslems today. Unfortunately, I studied in ITB where every canteen is closed during fasting month. With my crazy schedule I am being the same as those fasting since the first day, last Monday. The one different is that I don't do saur as them that make me starving at noon as always and dying as time approaching adzan maghrib. This makes me join every "buka bareng" with all my friends in EL'07. I like that because I met new circumstances where I can open my mask and start being the real me as I am with my closest friend at church. It's fun indeed!!!! There I found people with no doubt of being embarrasing in front of anybody, showing the real them...hahha... Starting from that point I start to change my mindset of how to interact with friends especially those in the same subject as me. Here I want to build a brand new friendship in HME where I find love and care as the main foundation to move on with the vision and work project of this organization. Later I will tell you a more detail of my new experience here... hehehe...

This was what we did

2008-07-30T09:54:00.003+07:00

imagined

2008-07-25T18:45:00.003+07:00

Once it was just a dream that soon blew into a reality. Unfortunately, it all changed suddenly. Naturally, I will try hard to chase it again. I've tried in fact. Now I've given up. All I can do now is adjust myself to get used to with it.

I'm Setting My Mind

2008-07-14T18:03:00.003+07:00

This is the most difficult time I've ever faced and undergone. I see no hope actually. I see no one able to help and indeed no one wants to involve in it or even know it. It's my new path, no, not mine, it's His, He makes me face it no matter how difficult it is. I don't know why, it's just pressing me all the time. Funnily, He said in 1 Corinthians 7:29-32
"I mean, brothers and sisters, ^F36 the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no possessions, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord;.."
This is simply talking about our mindset. However, it's still difficult for me to stay confident in this while I feel like my burden is trying hard to intimidate me, blinding me from the path I'm in. It's said that the unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord. So, life is all about pleasing the Lord, not about us. It's not about human matter. It must be difficult for anybody to do. Nevertheless, we just have to do it despite all the world things that come pressing on us. Hehe.... my first post containing bible scripture.

Never Ever Want It Again

2008-07-12T19:30:00.002+07:00

That's never been such a disappointing situation such as this, my worst experience. I'm feeling bad about it. I thought I wouldn't be able to go through with this all. But now I'm forced to face it. I'm forced to turn my self into the one I was just before I entered this stage. Unexpectedly, no one realizes this but me. Argh... Where are they saying to stand beside me in any situations? None of them even remember me today. Hahaha... such a ridiculous thing to think.

crazy

2008-07-05T11:34:00.002+07:00

All I've been through is just a lie... There has never been such a love in men's heart that's able to forgive and start from the very beginning again. The truth I see here in human life is that all friends are there in only good time, not in the bad time... So lonely...

My Friend's Writing, interesting..

2008-06-19T09:42:00.003+07:00

First, sorry for not conforming at first to publish your writing in this page. However, of nearly all your writings, this is the one I admire.

Mempunyai satu sahabat sejati lebih berharga dari seribu teman yang mementingkan diri sendiri.

Apa yang kita alami demi teman kadang-kadang melelahkan dan menjengkelkan, tetapi itulah yang membuat persahabatan mempunyai nilai yang indah.

Persahabatan sering menyuguhkan beberapa cobaan, tetapi persahabatan sejati bisa mengatasi cobaan itu bahkan bertumbuh bersama karenanya…

Persahabatan tidak terjalin secara otomatis tetapi membutuhkan proses yang panjang seperti besi menajamkan besi, demikianlah sahabat menajamkan sahabatnya.

Seorang sahabat tidak akan menyembunyikan kesalahan untuk menghindari perselisihan, justru karena kasihnya ia memberanikan diri menegur apa adanya.

Sahabat tidak pernah membungkus pukulan dengan ciuman, tetapi menyatakan apa yang amat menyakitkan dengan tujuan sahabatnya mau berubah.

MEREKALAH SAHABATMU

Hargai dan peliharalah selalu persahabatanmu

(written by Gerard)

Holiday??

2008-06-19T08:49:00.002+07:00

What a holiday!!!! I could never imagine to undergo such a horrible situation!!!! As a matter of fact, this is a holiday and it's been 2 weeks long. I expect something more than just a holiday actually. But, well... It's been set up. All I can do is just waiting until the prison is over...

Don't know why

2008-06-10T10:51:00.002+07:00

You know, family background, the surrounding, neighborhood, school conditions, etc. are the factors shaping one into one's whole life today. So, it's not necessary for anybody to judge one's appearance and personality just by one single look at a very brief time. That's what I'm thinking nowadays. It's difficult to get rid of that accusation everyday. I feel like I've done something extremely bad I didn't even realize. What I know for sure is that there's a very bad damage created lately. However, I have to deal with it indeed.

One Point, One Word

2008-06-10T00:07:00.002+07:00

I don't know what's happening now actually. One thing for sure is that everything is changing. All is emerging to the surface. Blaming is the characteristic of this season. Unbelief seems to take place dominantly here. The thing to do is just placing trust in your heart. Even though it's just a person you can trust, don't let trust go out of you. Everything get worse and worse recently. So, don't let trust get rid of you!

Last day of PLO

2008-06-07T18:33:00.002+07:00

This was the closing song for the last day of PLO (Profession and Leadership Orientation) in the groups final event, before the whole "angkatan" song of friendship and love. Hope this will be in our heart and mine forever till forever for this nation.

(05/06/08)

Bendera

Biar saja ku tak sehebat matahari
Tapi ku slalu mencoba tuk menghangatkanmu
Biar saja ku tak setegar batu karang
Tapi ku slalu mencoba tuk melindungimu

Biar saja ku tak seharum bunga mawar
Tapi slalu kucoba tuk mengharumkanmu
Biar saja ku tak seelok langit sore
Tapi slalu kucoba tuk mengindahkanmu

Kupertahankan kau demi kehormatan bangsa
Kupertahankan kau demi tumpah darah
Semua pahlawan-pahlawanku

Merah putih teruslah kau berkibar
Di ujung tiang tertinggi di Indonesiaku ini
Merah putih teruslah kau berkibar
Di ujung tiang tertinggi di Indonesiaku ini
Merah putih teruslah kau berkibar
Ku kan selalu menjagamu

2008-05-28T00:01:00.002+07:00

It was a terribly tiring day. All I did today was only studying and helping my friend in studying chemistry for its uas. I went late to campus today because I woke up very late. When I arrived, the meeting had been finished and all the students were doing the tasks given. So then I briefly went to chemistry building to Mr Suryo G.'s room. I was waiting for him in fact. Then, when he came, we had a little chat until he had to answer a few questions from his another student (the grammar is a bit wrong). After the meeting I studied PRE until now. I only changed places. I miss my best friend here.. He was in a distant place now, enjoying his days in his second hometown with his family. Wish you all the best, bhro...

I like this song..

2008-05-26T14:30:00.003+07:00

This is the song strengthening me all the time...

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Mine or not??

2008-05-24T22:39:00.001+07:00

It's been a year long I'm studying in this university. I've learned so much about relationship so far. The environment shaped me particularly that I'm terribly uneasy to believe in anybody even though it is my closest friends. I've tried hard to start thinking positively about anybody but the world seems to reject that kind of thought. So, this is me... a bit broken...

Sahabat???

2008-05-22T09:16:00.002+07:00

Gmn reaksi lo kl sahabat lo tiba2 nyuruh lo cari sahabat laen ja, trs ngomong kl kita ga cocok dari awal, padahal dah tmenan ampir setaun dan stengah taun ptama have fun mlulu???? Apa smua yg dah dilewati, kebersamaanny, saling tolongnya, ga berarti apa??? Apa smua pengorbanan ga berarti apa2??? Apa slama ini smua sia2??? Ini sih pembunuhan massal.....

Forgotten

2008-05-10T11:54:00.002+07:00

It's a bit contradicting, isn't it?? I forgot I wrote the "It's done" before this one. Anyway, it's true. It's been verified for more than a month long. But now, I've got used to. Eventhough nobody cares for me, (actually, I don't care of myself anymore too..) I won't let my exams score be down.

Now

2008-05-10T11:21:00.002+07:00

It's been eight months since I first change my personality. Believe it or not, it was just like a rolling gear. The surrounding changes me back into I was before I entered the university. Everybody forced me to be alone. I have nobody to trust anymore. In fact, I've had nobody to confide in for such a long time till now. It is ridiculous, isn't it? Everybody around me forces me to look everybody as suspiciously as I can (I think the grammar is wrong... I don't know the correct sentence..). The ones I trust the most leave me one by one secretly. It is undeniable that this happens to me in exams period. I really couldn't concentrate to study. All I can do is just praying that He would take this cup from me... Hehe... (trying to escape)
Since I couldn't trust anybody, I couldn't tell what I'm undergoing now even to those I used to think they are the closest to me. The only think I've done since two days ago is not to eat any food (containing full ingredient for a formal or informal dine). I just drank mizone, water, and milk (milo of course). Yesterday I was forced to eat bread. So I ate it. But today I don't want to eat anything, just want to lament or just forgetting the past step by step 'cause every time I tried to remember those beautiful days I suddenly cried (too melancholic..). However, I have to face it all by myself since I have nobody to stand beside me anymore. Hikz.... Hikz....

It's Done

2008-04-29T18:09:00.003+07:00

We've been well again...
Though I don't know what he thought nor felt, He'd said that what ever came our ways, no matter what hatred there was between us, I would be still his best friend and so would he. So far, it's been like those in the past. We're just like we were before. The different thing is that now I know what he dislikes as well as he knows what I dislike. Though it's still in the surface, he said he has such a confident that I could change and be his best friend as he desired. Just as I thought, I hope he could change a bit of his personality and be my friend as I've searched this long... One important thing here is that no matter what happens between us, there is nothing final in friendship. This quite change my mood a lot... Thx.

Self...

2008-04-28T00:18:00.000+07:00

I'd better be alone, not having one to hold my hands when I'm afraid....

Grief

2008-04-27T10:58:00.002+07:00

I had quite a bad conversation last night with my parents because of a physics task. I'm sick of all this stuff! I'd better be alone than to know that all closest persons around me being those who hate me th most and keep pressing me all the time, every second of my life.

Alone

2008-04-26T19:19:00.002+07:00

This is not a movie title. This is such a real situation happening to me. I was such a stupid man walking down the street, seeking for someone who wanted to hear me tell my story or just a simple speech I made. It was ridiculous to think about it today. Someone had changed me a lot. However, the changes are tried to be changed again today. I have no idea of what is happening to me nowadays, or recently more suitably to say. It's just strange.... and..... I don't like it at all!!! Something is changing in my community. It's..... weird!!! It's a bit insane.
I have a friend, again I retell this story. I have a friend whose name is xxxxxxx. This one is the strangest friend I've ever had. When he is in bad mood, he will behave rudely to others, include me. But, funnily, when he is in a happy condition, he becomes my best friend. Again, this is a man, not a woman. To tell the truth, this was started the last two months. I didn't know why for the first. But then, after I quite insisted him to tell me the truth, he said that, (I could conclude it with a more polite way) I was .... peep..... (censored). I had no idea at all that I'd done such a thing that seemed bad to others. They never told me. So I tried then to change my behavior. May be I should stop talking from now on (to them). Everything I say is wrong for them. I thought it might be better (the realm). However, it wasn't as I thought. He changed more drastically. He said everything was alright. Yeah... I wish it was alright. I hope so.
The strangest thing happens today!!! I sent him so many sms, nearly 20 messages, distributed to his two cellphone. But, guess what!! He didn't answer the sms I wished he'd answered it. He answered only the unimportant sms-es. I hope everything was alright. He was just.... strange!! I'd apologized to him for everything I'd done in the past for those I consciously did and for those which I did unconsciously. I didn't know anything else to say. Astonishingly, he didn't answer all that kind of sms of mine!! Please, help me!!! He didn't want to meet me at all today. I don't know why.
I know for today and a few days to go, this page can only be seen by one person. That's why I write this now. I hope you read it....
Sad, grieving, depressed.... Those are my condition now.
Btw, I'm sorry to write this story in English again, for I've committed to fill this blog with only English paragraphs.... hehe....

Home

2008-04-25T22:27:00.002+07:00

It's a bit like a therapy for me to undergo such a situation in which I learn not to rely on anybody but one in everything. I tried hard so far to face all things alone. I used to ask for much help from those around me. I realized then that this may be quite a wrong choice of my decision.
One thing I like so far is that I've underwent such a situation where I don't regret what has been done and what has happened. I like this last six months. I have a friend, the closest one I've ever had. He'd been the one changing my personality so much. However, not all things go as I thought before. He's going somewhere now, this time. I've been waiting for nearly a month for him to come back home. Nevertheless, it seems useless. He kept saying that all things are OK which, in fact, everything is not OK. He, the one I know since the first, has changed up side down.
But, so far, I'm happy to have undergone such an experience. I will never forget it. It's been my prayer for a period of time, since long time ago, to have a friend who can be my best one, who I thought he would think the same as me. Since I knew the truth, I got depressed and now I tried hard to keep struggling while in fact it keeps "menghantui" me. Knowing all things have been done, I can't do anything to change everything. It's a life. Life keeps going on no matter whether I'm ready or not to face it. I just want to warn you all to be aware of relying on someone, making such a relationship. It could build you up and in the same manner it could break you down...

Chemistry Practicum

2008-04-23T19:30:00.002+07:00

Today was the last day for chemistry practicum since we had reached the last title. Bye bye chem.prac!!!! hahahaha...... Though my last score may be disappointing, I'm still happy.

Busy??

2008-04-22T01:10:00.001+07:00

You're not busy at all when you feel or think that you're busy with so many things to do.

Sick

2008-04-20T22:56:00.002+07:00

I'm sick of this all!!! I was once longing for the true friendship and I thought I've got it. Surely, it overflows me till now. However, guess what, it was destructed all of sudden!!! It was just gone!!! I became a hopeless man, desiring only to give up this life. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried my best to keep the friendship as it was begun 7 months ago. All has changed. All changed!!! Noone can ever deny it!! All has changed!!! In fact, it's still changing now!!!!
The day after I confessed what I felt to him as clear as I could, the friendship was broken. He hated me fully, wholly. Of what reason??? It was because I kicked a cat while it was eating something which I thought not a food. But it was done that time!!! I couldn't go back to the past and repair this stuff.
Amazingly, he changed his mind, seeing my hopelessness. He decided to forgive me, which, I don't know whether it was a complete forgiveness or just a part of the complete forgiveness. As a matter of fact, despite my willingness to have all back to the first step, as we were once building this friendship, he had changed. He didn't care anymore of what I'm facing, of what happened to me, what I was struggling, what I feel, and many more... While, I'm still watching over him, caring his regular life and all his activities, his work, his readiness to face the exam, his meal, his feeling most importantly, his mood as always, and so on.
I don't know why he changed this far while we had made an agreement that we would start again from the beginning like we started this friendship 7 months ago. He was just.... I don't know... What happened to him actually??? Does he have a problem right now???
One thing I learned from this situation is that friendship is such an agreement between two sides with both sides agreeing one thing, that is to walk together and lift the other up when they're down or praising him when he get success. A friend walk right beside his friend, not behind or in front of him. I hope we could be back to the old days... to the happy days of knowing that friendship does mean something to both of us. There were so many trauma in my life about friendship and I hope this wouldn't be the next trauma. I can change to be better...

Friendship---

Sleepy

2008-04-01T21:33:00.001+07:00

Ngantuk

Tired

2008-04-01T20:22:00.004+07:00

Got exhausted???
It's been quite a long journey of meditation, thinking about stopping my study now to start a new one which I really like, music stuff. I was terribly sick of this all. I hate the circumstances in my campus, the study environment. All I find so far was only selfishness. I just couldn't imagine of how to survive here with such egoism dominating the society. I nearly wanted to quit yesterday. However, my best friend in campus keep encouraging me to go through with this all. The thought I'm relying on is 'not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord."
Keep fighting!!!

Electrochemistry Practicum

2008-03-30T14:54:00.008+07:00

What a Week!!!!!

2008-03-29T19:28:00.002+07:00

All of sudden, I became speechless!! What to say about this deadly week? It's insane!! Crazy!!! The most deadly tests were combined into such a series of tests. The first one was started in the first day of this week. I'd prayed with supplication that there would be a hard rain on Monday afternoon until the evening hour. But guess what, it didn't rain at all!!! O my goodness, I didn't want to break my companion's score (mark) for the tennis test. I've warned him not to be my partner for this test. However he kept 'keukeuh.." that I assumed he was terribly angry when he found that I couldn't play tennis at all!! I felt greatly distressed that evening. I felt so guilty that day, actually until today. This was only for the first day. I got only 70 for the test. I thank God for such a miracle as this.. hehehe...
The next thing to be done was the practicum thing, chemistry practicum. I could finish all that stuff in spite of the unpredictable thing happening the night when I wanted to print my practicum report. The printer didn't work!!! I was..... ya gitu deh...
Then the next thing to be focussed on is the uts matter. There was an accident on Tuesday night that made me feeling guilty so much. I lost my courage to study because of that thing. I was nearly ready to get the worst for the UTS this week. I don't know how to restore the previous courage to study. All I was thinking that day is to stop kuliah and started to choose what I really wanted to study, music. Funnily, my best friend realized this condition and he tried hard to light me up. It did work! He made me study hard for the Daspro test on Thursday despite I got at him since the night before. Meanwhile, he didn't feel guilty for what he'd done. I have no idea of what in his mind that he was that strange. That's why frontally I said what made me angry because of him.
I had physics test the next day. The source was so wide. I just couldn't imagine how the test would be because the same test years before were so easy. That's why I studied just the way I thought it had to be, ordinary one. Don't think about a test consisting of 5 numbers with easy to solve problems. They were all gone!! The real thing happening was that I couldn't finish the test because of the lack of the time needed. The problems were all surely difficult!!!! I was confident for only 2 of 5 problems given in the test. That was bad, truly bad!!! Just after the test, I decided to have an after lunch set, only a plate of rice with hot chicken, called 'Ayam Bumbu Bali' in Botram. It was so delicious.
The final test today was 'Pengantar Rangkaian Elektrik' and it was confusing. The matter is on how we look at a circuit and finding the equivalent circuit. Then, the test arrived this morning. I studied hard with Andreas, Matthew, and Hendy last night. They taught me a lot. This morning I studied again with them before the test. The test wasn't too difficult as a matter of fact. I went home earlier before the time ends.
Many students called these 3 days as "tri hari suci STEI" because of the crazy positioning of the tests. However, it's done anyway. I don't care of the score for each lesson. I just want to refresh my mind now.

My Best Friend

2008-03-19T23:58:00.002+07:00

Ardimas, or Dimas, or Samid, or what ever he wants to be called, has been, I don't know how, my best friend here in my campus life. Now I'm trying hard to like what he likes and be aware of what he needs. The one I'm trying hard nowadays to like is his favorite activities, tennis sport and all sport events, in TV or live show. I also try hard to like reading comics again, especially sport comics. Actually, it's fun!! I like all things connected with sport. But, I am not good at nearly all sport games. I don't know the rules and the way of playing all the games. That's why I only like athletic sport. It tests only one's strength.
However, I'll try to like what he likes more, especially sport things, despite his struggling to like jazz music too.. hahaha... What a friend...

My Life

2008-03-19T23:01:00.002+07:00

It's a bit difficult to say, but I think it's.....
Just forget it..
"I'd rather have the one than anything.." This is the one I'm struggling to stick to it still. It's a bit difficult in fact with my complicated problems (matters) and my condition now. I still couldn't distinguish whether it's acceptable to have such a relationship or not in the one's sight.
Nevertheless, just go through with it... Don't give up!!! Fight!!!

Satu

2008-03-07T22:53:00.007+07:00

This is my first post without using English as the main language here.. Just read it!!

Sering orang katakan satu..
Adakah satu itu?
Adakalanya 'banyak' disatukan,
Tanpa satu itu nyata
Nyatakah satu itu?
Perlukah kehadiran satu?
Apakah satu itu?

Satu bukanlah satu jika ia tidak utuh
Satu tidak nyata jika ia tidak terlihat
Satu adalah satu hanya jika ia tampil

Satu adalah rasa
Satu adalah wajah
Satu pasti maju
Satu harus terikat
Satu juga bebas
Satu berani tanpa batas
Satu tak kenal takut
Satu tak butuh lelah
Satu tidak istirahat
Satu berpadu dalam harmoni
Satu adalah kedinamisan
Satu tidaklah statis
Satu adalah satu

Jadi apakah satu itu?
Satu adalah kepastian
Satu adalah kekuatan
Satu adalah hatimu

Mari maju untuk satu
Mari berjuang untuk satu
Tak ada satu tanpa usaha
Tak ada satu tanpa tekad

Satu adalah satu....
___________________________
Mengejar Satu untuk Satu..

Birthday

2008-03-06T21:01:00.002+07:00

My best friend here in ITB, Dimas, had his birthday today. He's 19 years old now. I accompanied him for the whole day yesterday. So, where Dimas was, there was me too. We wasted our time yesterday to study and did interesting things.
Today, there's no time to do such things. That's why we did that yesterday. I don't know why, he looked a bit unhappy today. It seems like he doesn't enjoy his birthday. Ya... It may be his first time to celebrate his birthday far from his old friends and his family.
Overall,I've tried hard to make him happy today despite he's really strange today.

Funny Practicum

2008-03-05T11:53:00.003+07:00

I did my first physics practicum in this semester this morning. It was funny. By the way, I got the Wheatstone thing today as the topic. All we have to do was just arranging all the stuffs and measuring the length. It didn't work at first. It didn't work too for the second arrangement. And for the third, it didn't work too. We tried to use other tools then. I thought it would work while in fact it didn't work at all. So then we checked the "kabel" and all was fine. All of sudden, I realized that the matter was in the Resistance which we could arrange (the magnitude). And finally, it was broken!!! Then we took the other resistance. On the third time, it worked!! Just a few minutes later we'd finished our work and 15 minutes later we finished our practicum. It was just that easy!!!!

Chemistry Practicum (08/02/27)

2008-03-04T17:14:00.005+07:00

JOY

2008-03-02T22:45:00.002+07:00

JOY!!! That's what I'm focused on the whole today. Some people could read me, that I'm in distressed. But, overall I could overcome it. I pushed back all dominating and distressing things in my mind. All I want to do is just having fun from now on. When I look back to what I'm thinking when I was greatly distressed, it was just ridiculous beside all the relevance with the condition today. I found it more important to please Him than just to struggle with the pressure pressing me. It's true as a matter of fact to undergo such a situation when you find that everybody doesn't want you to be there which finally distresses you. It's just common. But, that's not what I'm talking about. The point is what your decision is, whether you want to live under that kind of pressure and be killed or you want to get out of it and conquer it all. It's just that simple. Enjoy your life bhro.....!!!!

Being Overwhelmed

2008-03-01T18:59:00.002+07:00

It's just funny, I was terribly distressed just before I went to church. I was just... I don't know... I just felt greatly distressed, seems like it'd better for me to leave all this stuff and just go out of this place, this city. I just wanted to escape, or just be off. It seems like the whole world is rejecting me. But, I've been here since by birth. So, they have to accept my being here.
However, the first exercise (music band) started a bit late. I've quite enjoyed the exercise in fact. But, I felt something strange and unusual in that exercise. The matter is we're all not connected one another. That's why the exercise was just... strange. Finally, the WL stopped the exercise and told us to go home and prepare our hearts for tomorrow service.
So then, I continued my activity with the next exercise for the morning one. There were only two of us (me and Steffi) playing for the morning service. I've focused my mind since it hadn't been started. I put my thought into the captivity of Christ (as the Word says). It was instantly changed!! I don't know why. It may be because of the WL too, Effi's mom. The atmosphere changed!! Since then I enjoyed the exercise so much despite we were only two playing the music. Now I feel better. I could see the world from a different point of view. It was all because of the previous exercise. I refuse to die earlier or to "minggat". Hehe...
I love being rejected this way. It shows me that my existence here does mean something and must have a great importance that nearly everybody try hard to kill me psychologically.
I just stand on one sentence, "Love never fails". When I'm in distressed, I just go to my "secret place" and hide there until I'm calmed. Hehe.. That's my life, so many distressing situation.

Morning Wake Up

2008-03-01T08:57:00.002+07:00

Man, why do there have to be evening-night-dawn??? It would be better if there weren't any night or the sleep at night. It's just such a wasting of time. A day consisting of 24 hours would've been more effectively gone through if it had been filled with a 24-hour activity nonstop. Because there's night now, most humans, the busy ones, have to spend about 2-4 hours only for sleep time. For those still studying in high school or university, you must know that in that range of time there can be done so many activities, especially studying and playing, that life can be full. But, I think it would be boring enough too if we only live in the days without dark or night at all.hehehe... (just thinking)

Astrology??

2008-02-23T10:22:00.002+07:00

D'ya ever thing about life pattern, manly characteristic, etc. which is controlled by the position of stars?? I once thought about it for quite a while. It's said everyone born in the same period of time and, more specifically in the same month, has similar characteristics. When I think about it, putting those who were born in the same month as me, we have such a similar characteristic, stick to the rule, honoring justice so much, all has to be done with effort that nothing will be gained without work. That's why we are all "keras", a bit headstrong. However, there's something I found interesting concerning this thing in the bible. It's said in the bible that the devil tried to change season and time (which means what I've talked before) and God is the God controlling ones. So, we're all who have been saved by the grace no longer controlled by that kind of seasons controlling. Your characteristics have to be changed to be more and more like him. So, that kind of grace allows you and I to live not according to such astrology and anything similar to it. We ourselves decide what to do and how to live. Actually, it's scientific to tell people about their future or current life according to the stars constellation. It's proven.

Young Executive

2008-02-23T10:15:00.003+07:00

Business Appointment

Busy
Hehehe...

Life

2008-02-22T10:24:00.002+07:00

What to do with the life itself?
There's such a divine nature which draws one to the destiny.
Trying to leave and get rid of it is just useless.
Want to live and have joy in it??
Join me in this adventure!
None to do with the direction, it's just it.
Just do what have to be done,
endure suffering for just a while of this period of life.
Actually, all my path is suffering.
No gain without losses.
It looks weird in my community to have such a life.
But, this is it.
I've made my decision and no turning back for me
coz my life is not my own anymore,
everyday I pace this path,
the more I die and become full.
This is the way I live,
to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
The essential thing is living with the divine nature,
gaining the divine power more and more.
Wanna try??

Escaping

2008-02-20T21:51:00.002+07:00

Talking about life,
what a tough one I've undergone so far,
gaining so much in reaching a higher purpose,
pacing each day with such a hope to keep existing,
leaving those not deserving to be hold,
struggling to keep standing,
being selective in the matter of companionship,
strengthening my own faith,
being dead of my own to gain the real life,
and finally undesirably standing alone.

I've tried to escape,
thousands of time I've tried to leave this pathway,
but I've reached the edge of my strength,
being drawn back to my first pathway,
and start again from the start.

So, where to escape??
I agree with you all,
Faith is my escape.

This Holiday

2008-01-23T22:02:00.001+07:00

I went to Madiun last week and I don't know what to say about this holiday. It was just amazing... Just visit my friendster page at http://profiles.friendster.com/christianhalim
Just look at the photos... (By the way, I don't include the photos of Dimas because his pictures are so many, just imagine his body in my positions..)

Lost

2008-01-21T15:15:00.000+07:00

I lost my helmet today. It was hung on the helmet place in my motorbike. But... It's gone now. It was INK helmet, the red one. I like that helmet actually. But, it's gone now....

Inside the Thought

2008-01-07T23:53:00.000+07:00

Can you imagine what you feel if you are alone because no body is in the same "channel" with you in your primary community?? It's not because of your inability to adapt yourself with the community's circumstances, but rather because you are being very serious in one or two things very important in your life that you will do anything to fulfill that thing. It's just exactly the same with the Christianity life. You know what I mean. When the world is no longer important in your mind, and you don't even want to be partakers of this perishing world's inheritance, it looks weird in your surroundings' eyes that you walk in a different way, not looking to those mortal things. Perseverance, the main element to overcome this kind of situation no matter how long it will be...

A Great Day!

2007-12-31T00:21:00.000+07:00

There's so much to say about yesterday, but one thing I couldn't forget is that the day of laughing all the time. It's been a habit for me to be terribly tired every Sunday. But it's not for yesterday. Yesterday I have a full day with my band partners. There are five of us with me the only man. The others are women and also I'm the youngest there.
By the way, I left the church a bit earlier than usual yesterday because the preaching was finished earlier than the appointed time as usual in spite of the other used time until the service finished. Then I went home first to dress up my self and went to Warung Steak to have lunch there with my friends. At precisely 1.05 p.m we arrived at Sawunggaling to have a meeting there and a little practice for the event on the new years day in the church. I spent my whole time there with my four partners. There is a girl called Steffi who is the one making me laughing all the time. In the middle of the practice we got bored that we went out hanging around first to refresh our mind. There, since that time we went out, she started to "melawak" (I don't know the English word for that...). She did that until we went back to church at 6.45 p.m. It surely made us laughing at every movement she made with her face or her body. However, the most funny one is her voice which always changed according to her ideas. She never stopped!! That was the incredible thing from her!! I became speechless then, having nothing to say of what she did. That range of time truly refresh my mind despite my inability to study seriously because of that (I'd planned to study Pengling until I went back to church at 7, but all is turned). For what she did, it's still a secret between five of us inside the music room there. One thing for sure, we will never forget that day.. Although it's been hundreds of time she did such a thing in front of us, the thing she did that time seemed to be new and amazing to us.
Pokonya, it was the most attractive Sunday for this year while fortunately it was the last Sunday for this year too. Just ask her if you want to know the detail. I believe that you won't believe me until you watch her by your own eyes....

No Comment

2007-12-27T22:48:00.000+07:00

That's why I said it strange. He seldom replied my messages. I'd written more than 15 messages while he only replied 4 of them! My goodness!!! By the way, it's quite a tiring day. I spent my day nearly for only the meeting time. I just went home. The only useful thing I did today was studying calculus. Then I went to BEC to buy a leather case for my father's cell phone and return my broken micro SD. Briefly I went home back to pick my sister up and went back to Sawunggaling. I waited for more than half an hour long until the meeting started. For the meeting situation, no comment!
About what I was thinking this day long, it's a bit secret today... So many times I tried hard not to lost my mind because of little things unimportant supposedly... Quite a struggle.

Another Quotation

2007-12-27T11:40:00.000+07:00

It's deep in the meaning...
' "Stay" is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary.'
-Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888)-

This quotation was just like something blazing at my eyes when I read that. I've never found a friend who knows the meaning of such a word "stay" in the real meaning of friendship. In my opinion, the meaning of stay is not just simply being off from any activities and keep static in case of waiting for a friend while it's not predictable whether he/she is sincere in doing such thing or not. It does mean deeper than that, that a friend will lay aside all his thought and pride and try to understand his/her friend from another point of view and be ready to let him/herself to be involved in his/her friend's life despite all their rejection in such a situation. So, the meaning of the sentence "I will stay here for you," is not just simply I will wait for you until you finish. It requires an action of helping the person (the object of this talk) by going through his/her life for a while and solve the problem for him/her. It will be easy if you place this thing as a new paradigm in your mind that staying for someone means sacrificing for him/her. There's a story in the bible which stated the highest level of such a condition exacerbated above that was said by Jesus, saying (redirected) that a friend's love to his friend will be perfect through the sacrificing of life. So, friendship becomes perfect when the both of them are ready to sacrifice their life for their companion.
Overall, meditate on it and you will find another perspective of friendship in your life. Still it's difficult for me to reach that level of friendship too, but I'm trying hard to keep that in mind. Enjoy your life, Bhro!!!

Christmas Gift

2007-12-27T11:25:00.000+07:00

The day before yesterday, the Christmas day, I was given a gift. As a matter of fact, it was just a letter containing special message for the next year, 2008, of my life. It said "Many a little makes a micle..." It's quite interesting since I don't know what's the meaning of micle. They said that it was just saying from those many little things you will find something bigger and great as time goes by. Still I couldn't find the connection with my life. But, I will meditate it....

Christmas Day!!!!

2007-12-26T00:17:00.000+07:00

It was Christmas yesterday. Actually, I felt strange yesterday. I never say 'merry Christmas' in every Christmas celebration every year except if I was forced to do so. Last night everybody sent me 'merry Christmas' messages that I had to send them each a reply message saying the same things. I dislike that kind of situation since I had to waste my money only to send such messages to those I even nearly had forgotten. So, then I sent my previous accel mate the same messages about the thing I got from last Sunday service in the church and eventually I sent my closest friend a different message containing the same things inside, but with a different way of saying. I have no idea at all of how to say 'merry Christmas' to him 'cause I believe he never did so.
I did quite a lot of things today. First, I slept at 6.30 a.m because I didn't sleep all the night before. Then I woke up at 10.30 a.m and continued with the internet activity. Then I continued with studying calculus until I get bored and switched my activity into the business thing. Unfortunately, my parents went home at about 3 p.m that I had to prepared myself to have lunch. We went back home at 4.30. Everybody briefly slept while I kept watching TV until 5 p.m. I couldn't bear this kind of sleepiness that I fell asleep too until 5.45 p.m.
I woke up a bit shocked looking at the time. However, I was still sleepy, still lazy enough to get back to my sweet pillow. Nevertheless, time forced me to do the opposite thing of my mind. So, I went to Sawunggaling to have a meeting of the end of year 2007 activity in the church this week. It was so quick that I didn't realize that the time had gone so fast and we had to go to Ciwalk. I went there with my sister. We, all the invited, had the next meeting in Honeymoon Dessert from 9 to 11.30 p.m. (No comment for the meeting activity)
Just precisely at 00.00, we went home and watched TAXI film while typed this words....
Gd nite!!

Confused to Continue

2007-12-23T01:02:00.000+07:00

He is going to Bali this holiday while I have to stay here in Bandung, struggling in finishing the project of end of year activities in my church. I feel a bit strange actually. What is a friend definitively??? For what reason does friendship began??? In what season it is supposed to emerge and sink/disappeared again?? Is it an obligation for a friendship to face a season of being broken?? Do they have to?? How to resolve such a problem in a friendship??? These are the questions emerging in my mind all these days...

Photos - December

2007-12-23T00:43:00.000+07:00

Second Day of Holiday

2007-12-20T23:24:00.000+07:00

Today, I went to Jakarta, only to Plaza Senayan and it was only for a while. We went at about 10.30 and arrived at Jakarta at about 11.50. It was raining all the way to Jakarta in Cipularang, but it was stopped when we were near the Pondok Gede toll gate. Then, briefly we went to Plaza Senayan.
Actually, we went there only to take my mother's bag in Louis Vuitton shop. But, as we arrived there, the plan was swayed. First, we went into NEXT shop and my father bought me two pieces of shirt with the one I like and the other I was forced to like. Actually, both shirts are discounted 20%, but still they were too expensive in my eyes. However, my parents like them. So, they bought me those shirts. (One of them got the most expensive shirt rank that I have in my wardrobe) Then we went to have lunch in Bakerzin. That was the first time I ate there and the food was surely delicious!! I ate Linguine Bratwurst. The sausage... It was unspeakably delicious!!!
After finishing all those eating, we went to the main hall to watch the accappela singers. They were incredibly gorgeous!!! I like their singing. But, time forced me to continue my previous plan. So, I continued going to Kinokuniya to read books there. I bought a book there, written by John C. Maxwell, entitled 'Talent is Never Enough'. You have to read that book!! It was great.
Yeah.. eventually, we had to go home then. So we bought some bread first then went to the parking area and went home to Bandung.
The rest of my activities in Bandung, I think, they are all ordinary things, just like what I'm doin' now... At least I have added my collection of book here in my room. Hehe...

"Perpisahan"

2007-12-19T13:14:00.000+07:00

Last night Ardimas (Pak Dimas, Mr Andi, Samid, Dimas, or whatever he wants to be called..) invited me, Hendy, Matthew, and Afi to Chili Padi to play and waste the time until late night because last night was his last day this year in Bandung. In fact, only Matthew and I came there. So we were only three.
I enjoyed being there last night very much. First, we bought 'swamp things' and Dimas bought a plate of fried noodle while he said he had eaten twice before he came there. I didn't bought any food there since I just wanted to drink the monster drink.
Then Matthew came and join us. He opened his notebook and did some downloading. While he was downloading, Dimas gave me so many last words (cie...) but not about things I considered before. He told me to do things related to Unicore and Tian shi. After he finished talking about those things, I took some photographs to be put here while he kept singing Michael Jackson's song, You are not Alone. It was ridiculous I thought because he still had his love in spite of the actual distance between them with his love in Malang and he in Bandung. It was so funny there. But, he didn't listened to my words and kept singing.
After all, we played ( i don't know the game name) such a soccer game but we only have to swing the stick consisted of the players. It was fun! I like that game very much. The cost was only Rp 5.000,- per hour. I played in one team with Dimas (it was chosen randomly) while Matthew played alone. Surprisingly, ( we count a game one point) the score was 1-3 with 3 for Matthew and 1 for me and Dimas.
Then we played pool (biliar, but i don't know the exact name for it). We played nine ball game. The funny thing was that since it was late night, everybody started to be more sleepy and couldn't play in full of concentration. This made the game lasted for such a longer time than usual each. But, unfortunately, I had to go home at 1. So, all the game was stopped and luckily we had completed the one hour playing. So, the next thing to do was to bring Dimas back to his lodging house and say my last words to him and eventually went back home.

This is Dimas, being melancholic, singing a love song, remembering the love he has.

This is Matthew, seriously played the game and taught me how to play it.

Campus Center (east wing) - brief report

2007-12-19T12:43:00.000+07:00

This is the view of Triangle court taken from east campus center. It is usually used for a meeting, quite a big one. It's a bit greeny there, comfortable enough to study there.
The place where I took this photograph is one of my favourite place here in ITB because it is so windy there that I can easily fall asleep there.

This one is the straight path, quite a balcony, in the east wing campus center. I like this place so much despite its dirtiness here with all ants and flies all around. Actually I enjoy killing those animals very much each minute.
If you want study and fully concentrate, just come here and study here with your face toward the triangle court. You will get addicted soon.

Actually, there are still many photographs I haven't put here which I will put in the next post.

Business

2007-12-11T18:48:00.000+07:00

The day before my birthday last week I was presented a form of business, and I'm quite interested in it just as I heard about the concept of the networking and the business target. But, I thought I'm suited in it. Funnily, Matthew, my friend (in the campus), joined it. How come a person like him want to join it. That's why I decided to try to run this business too by first joining it. So, I joined the network yesterday after I finished all the requirements. At night, I came into the meeting (they called it so, such a presentation event). It was very interesting and eventually 2 persons joined this business too. The prospect was not for short period but rather for a lifetime. That's what made me join this. Besides, I think it's not difficult to run the business. So now I have a business (not just a work, finally). I do this business at my spare time in campus which makes it wouldn't bother my regular activities.

Sunday, Not a Weekend

2007-12-10T00:41:00.000+07:00

It's a tough day, isn't it?? I've been through many days and years of struggling, and still I found that Sunday is the most tiring day, the hardest day, the most distressing day (probably), and the most (again) tiring day. It's really difficult to treat my day, Sunday, as a weekend day.
This morning (9/12/07) I woke up late, at 7 while I was supposed to wake up at 5. All of sudden I prepared myself to go to the church and played the keyboard for the second service this morning. Luckily, I didn't come late to the church with everybody had been there. The first service lasted for about 2,5 hours and it was continued by the next activity in the same hall. Because I was so hungry, I went home first to drink two glasses of milk (Dutch Lady) for my first level of breakfast. I went back to church then. At about 11.45 I went to PlaGo to watch the match of Futsal. It was an obligation that I (with "berat hati") went there with my sister and my friends from church. There I only studied chemistry until my parents came and asked both of us to go and had lunch. I had lunch at Nasi Timbel Dago. The food was not delicious at all. At about 2.30 I went home and just as I arrived at Jalan Sumatera, it was 2.55 that I couldn't go home and I went to church.
Surely, it's tiring!! After I arrived at the hall, I fell asleep at the front row of seats. It's a bit hurt at my back. But, I like sleeping there, full of AC. I didn't realize that I'd been sleeping for 45 minutes. It's refreshing.. Then I played the keyboard (the same one) until 7 and took a break for only a while to go to the restroom. Then I played the main keyboard for the next service (FOG meeting) from 7.10 until 9.30. My goodness!!!! I really wanted to cut off my arms for a while to keep it relaxed.
At 10 I, with my family, went to Cafe Halaman, having dinner. I ate a plate of 'bihun goreng' and a bowl of 'bihun kuah'. For the drink I bought Avocado KSP. It's quite sufficient for a while with now my stomach has been calling for the next level of supper.
Truly, it's a tough day!!! (Many activities I was supposed to join I didn't join or even tell the coordinator that I couldn't join because I only focused myself to chemistry UTS the next Friday)
Help me, please...

The song

2007-12-04T20:04:00.001+07:00

Finally, I get it...

A Song "You Are"

2007-12-03T23:20:00.000+07:00

It's such an amazing song actually when I heard. This song is the first song this month that could make my tears fall while listening to it cause I felt something different from this song. I listened this free-listened song at: http://flipgeorge.imeem.com/playlist/qshw9_wL/duet_songs_music_
playlist/
You have to open that and listen to the first listed song, this song, You are. It may seem the song is talking about your life mate while actually the song writer wrote this song as an expression of what he felt toward his God. So, it's a religious song as a matter of fact. I found then something strange in the other site containing this song. It doesn't talk about love toward your boy/girl friend. It's your choice to interpret this song as love song toward human or God. What I find here in this song is that you can approach your Maker as how He means to you.
So, enjoy the song (open it in that site!!), flow with the words...

YOU ARE
sang by Gary Valenciano (duet with Joni Villanueva)
--- album: Relevance ---

chorus

You are the love of my life
You are the hope that I cling to
You mean more than this world to me
I wouldn’t trade you for silver or gold
I wouldn’t trade you for riches untold
You are, you are my everything

1st vers

You are the love of my life
You are the hope that I cling to
You mean more than this world to me
I wouldn’t trade you for silver or gold
I wouldn’t trade you for riches untold
You are, you are my everything

I wouldn’t take one step without you
I could never go on
I couldn’t live one day without you
I don’t have the strength
To make it on my own

chorus

You are the love of my life
You are the hope that I cling to
You mean more than this world to me

I wouldn’t trade you for silver or gold
I wouldn’t trade you for riches untold
You are, you are my everything
(repeat 2nd stansa)

Until the world stops turning
Until the stars fade from the sky
Until the sun stops rising
I need you in my life
And here’s the reason why

You are the love of my life
You are the hope that I cling to
You mean more than this world to me
I wouldn’t trade you for silver or gold
I wouldn’t trade you for riches untold
You are, you are my everything

chorus

You are the love of my life
You are the hope that I cling to
You mean more than this world to me
I wouldn’t trade you for silver or gold
I wouldn’t trade you for riches untold
You are, you are my everything.........
(repeat 2x)

you are, you are my everything......

Javanese...

2007-11-30T23:25:00.001+07:00

What to say???

Surely, I hate being in the middle of my friends in my campus. Actually, nearly all the time in campus I spent with my Javanese friends. And fortunately, most of the class members are Javanese!! They always communicate each other by Javanese language while I was still in the middle of the conversation. I became speechless then.
I just don't understand, how come such thing could happen?? The one I hate from them is that while they're talking one another, I sometimes felt that I was being talked, and when I realized, it's true that I was being talked. They always play at me with their strange language.
Nevertheless, there is a translator here. My closest friend, Dimas, is a Javanese too and I always force him to translate every Javanese language I hear. The one I like is that he always explain nearly every Javanese vocabulary I don't understand which I just heard.
Confidently, I can say now that ITB environment can change one's culture into the mixed one, the ITB culture, the united one. At first I felt comfortable to use my regular Indonesian language while I know also that here in ITB people seldom use the "gua, lu" language. Moreover, I won't find people using "aing, sia" in conversation (even though I found one this morning). You know what, after socializing myself here in ITB's environment, I found that my Indonesian language couldn't be accepted easily that I have to study nearly every regional language I hear in the community where I belong. It's a bit difficult and inconvenient actually, but I will try hard, struggle, forcing my self to study languages again.

One & the Only Holiday

2007-11-28T21:49:00.000+07:00

Today is a holiday for nearly all STEI (School of Electrical Engineering and Informatics) students because we have finished all the practicums. That's why I arranged today activities as holiday activities. It was supposed to be holiday for the whole day actually, but you know that it didn't go that way today.
This morning I got up late, at about 8 a.m. while I was supposed to get up at 7. When I just wanted to take a bath, Dimas arrived. I was surprised then, not realizing that I was supposed to be earlier ready to go swimming this morning. After preparing all things, I had a breakfast which actually as replacement of my absence in having dinner last night. I ate till I felt full.
Then I went to Batununggal Club House and swam there for about an hour. I swam the (I forgot the English name for it) gaya "katak/dada" for 20 "bolak-balik" or equivalently 1026 meters long. That was the beginning. The real swimming was just 2 "bolak-balik" "gaya bebas". I got briefly tired (my legs) that I stopped swimming immediately. Then I studied calculus until I decided to take a shower. Just as I finished cleaning my body, Dimas stopped studying physics. Then we went to the parking area and went home. The way back home was amazingly shorter than the one we took to get to Batununggal. So, we arrived home faster than we thought before.
Dimas quickly went by. Then I made the card for the congregation in the church (member card). Actually I just made the design which have to be approved then. But, overall I like making such design.
At precisely 1.30 I went to campus to make the physics tasks with my teammates. It was until 4.30 we made that thing. Then I continued my activity with doing the calculus homework. Unfortunately, it was so many!! I could get crazy just because of doing that homework. In spite of that, we were supposed to be five while there was only two of us there making the homework. That's why we did it for quite a longer time than we used to. We finished doing it at about 9 p.m. My head got "ngahuleung" just as we finished. The counting was so many and complicated. It irritated my mind.
However, I like doing those things in spite of the term holiday being swayed. Overall, I like doing all the activities today. Half of them are the holiday activities and the other half are the campus activities.

Music

2007-11-27T21:29:00.000+07:00

After I observed for quite a period of time among all my surroundings (people around me) about music and the impact to their lives, I found something interesting. Most people who like listening to pop music often (generally) focus only on their life, all things connected to their life too. Their commonly use their feeling rather than have their logical thinking work.
Those who like listening to classical music mostly don't like changes in many things related to their vital parts in life. They are usually stubborn. Those who like listening to rock music have nearly similar characteristic with those who like listening to pop music, but rather be more offensive and so fragile to getting offended. That's why they commonly show them self offensive. Actually, this are not so different with those who like listening to metal music. The one different is that those liking metal music rather show them self as being introvert even though they like making friends. This is obviously seen in how they confine in somebody else. Most of them don't have anybody likely to be confined. Actually, these are only hypothesis and are of general observation.
Funnily, those who like jazz music have different characteristics from all of them mentioned above. Those who like art the most in their life mostly like jazz music better than any other music. Usually, for those liking jazz music, jazz itself is an addictive thing that it could defeat all other things that restrain it to come out. In my opinion, jazz is the most difficult music genre I've ever studied because it contains many things to be studied and memorized. The theories are so many while those are difficult to be applicated. The one thing having the biggest role here is the feeling of the man. Jazz music makes people sing in their mind unstoppedably.
That's why I like jazz music the most...

Tired

2007-11-27T21:06:00.000+07:00

It's a bit tiring today. The whole activities today are all about numbers and variables!! I can't stand facing such a day like today. I had better have only chemistry lesson for 8 hours rather than have calculus, physics, concepts in engineering, and chemistry, all of which are 2 hours each. They pressed my brain so heavily.
Actually, last night I slept for only 3 hours, from 1 to 4 a.m. And in fact, I didn't sleep as I planned because I fell asleep all of sudden. That's why I felt so tired this morning. I couldn't define what the interesting things are in calculus and physics. Though both are disgusting, I'd rather choose physics better than calculus. Surely I don't like calculus, from the depth of my heart while my closest friend, Dimas, loves that stuff so much. I don't understand.
Now, I feel deeply afraid of the calculus UTS the next Friday. I don't understand the previous lesson in the end of differential chapter and the beginning of integral chapter. They are so full of variables!!! (Nearly no number at all!!! I don't like such things without color and unfortunately, there are only two colors in calculus book!!! My goodness!!!)
All I can do now is just praying and keep studying until I go beyond my limitation.. Cha You!!!

Sunday Activites

2007-11-26T00:30:00.000+07:00

It seems like a day for resting Sunday is. However, I feel the difference. I study only of little time on Sunday. Most of my time that day I spend in the church because I play a keyboard, accompanying my partner in playing the keyboard too, the other one. If it is complete, I have to attend and play keyboard for four services per day. Therefore, I got only spare time at 11 until 15.00. I used to not liking this kind of life. But now I like it very much.
So, for those want to have a team work discussion with me, please understand me that I'm quite busy that I had only a few hours left for such work. Would you please arrange them in much more proper time that is suitable too for everyone.

Sleepy, No Time for It

2007-11-24T23:53:00.000+07:00

It's funny I think, being back in such a typical life. I find it difficult nowadays to set my schedule in a proper order and time allocation. There wasn't too much work to do this far, but it sounds strange that I don't have time even for my personal life. There are so many responsibilities that I hold now, from different places and organizations. The one I don't concern too much now is the KMPA unit in my campus, and that is the only one I could "lepas" for a while with no other could be done so.
The one I quite hate about campus life is that my friends have their weekend time to do anything they want, or finishing their assignments while in the same day too nearly all units run their activities too. In the same time and day I can only be in the church, with nearly four services I had to attend and in three of them I had to play keyboard with my band. Actually, I enjoyed this so much. What I don't like is that most of my friends doesn't respect weekdays as I respect them so much cause I know that the normal weekend is the most busy day among all days a week. That's why I rather allocate my work to be finished out of that day while others think the opposite thought, as well as my closest friend in campus. Eventually, I had to deal with it too.. By this I'm able to say to all my friends that I work harder than all of them because I had more work to do than they do. With the same range of time of working, I had to allocate more for working rather than for sleeping though I know that one of my friends didn't do the same as commonly done but rather working harder than me. However, he still did what he likes while I couldn't do so. I did what I had to do, not what I like to do.
Courage!!!!

What a Week!!!!

2007-11-24T23:25:00.000+07:00

Such an amazing week it was! I didn't even imagine that it would go that way this week. You know what, I've been through hard time. First, I fell with my motorbike last Tuesday and it did hurt! Besides, the motorbike didn't want to go well. And because of that too I came late to chemistry class. Second, I forgot of my "pengling" tasks, whether the personal assignment or both the group assignment. Ya... Just forget it. Third, I forgot of my Concepts in Engineering Task. It is a team assignment, quite a project, not to big, but wide impact it has. We're planning to make such a watch that can detect the heart rate, similar to the function of electrocardiograph. Astonishingly, one of my teammates, my most relied on, thought of another idea relating to that function. My goodness!!!! How come it happened just a few days before the D-day!! I don't know what to say... speechless.. I've searched for many things related to the work of ECG and I got so many. I just rewrote them and compressed all the materials in it (summarized them). I've searched also things about the work of watches. Surely, I have no idea of what to say...
The last, I, with my team, physics team, had to make a "pelontar" for a 40-gram ball. It was easy in fact to make such thing if I work alone, all by myself. But, unexpectedly, I had to work with a team consisted of 8 persons with me the only one who worried this thing the most. It's been two weeks of working and still nothing accomplished! Despite the tool has been ready, the report was not ready yet. I made it too, not finished yet because it was quite confusing. I lost my paper and I only remember that it was not allowed to go more than three pages for the report while until now I've made three pages, not including the counting of the parabolic movement. Ridiculously, I believe I'm the only one member of this teamwork that remember that there has to be a report with the tool. No one contacted me until now about the report. Actually, there was one sms-ed me about this task, but she didn't ask about the report. Speechless.....
I don't feel anybody belong to the teamwork because there's no teamwork for the real assignment. There WAS one time we work together making the main parts of the tool using Jiwo's design and my calculation about the positioning of every part of the tool. I planned to lay this all off... But I believe I can survive. Just keep struggling and finishing the work. Be the head! That's what encouraging me so far. O God... please...

Fell with The Motorbike

2007-11-20T13:13:00.000+07:00

It was sucks!!! I have never imagined such an embarrassing event as this morning! It was just a brief occurrence that I fell down with my motorbike to the ground. I admit that I was driving fast that time, about 40 km/hour in Jalan Ganesa, but the point is that I've done such thing so many times that it was supposed not to happen! There were two other motorbikes from Jalan Ciung Wanara turning left to Ganesa while I was coming from Dago to Ganesa and at that time I was going to pass that street when that two infuriating motorbikes came all of sudden. I nearly hit them. However, I "rem" my motorbike spontaneously that it "oleng" and eventually fell down to the ground, falling to the left side of the motorbike. Ridiculously, that two motorbike just went by with no guilty feeling while the other people on the side of the road helped me and stood the motorbike up. At first, it couldn't start up that make me quite frightened that time. How come it could happen???!! By the way, I fell just before the eastern gate of ITB. After a while trying to start up the motorbike, it did turn on and I could get into the western gate. One think I worried was that it couldn't be switched to the first "gigi" and finally the neutral "gigi". O my goodness!!! I can't stand bearing such thing happening in my life! All of sudden, I lost my mood in studying chemistry today.
After I parked my motorbike, I checked it all around. Just as I finished checking, I tried to hang my helmet to the left side of the motorbike, but it couldn't be hung! Beside that, the front rear couldn't be locked! I became speechless... Then I made my decision that I had to keep attending the class whether I wanted to study or not. So, slowly I walked to the class and after being late for 18 minutes I came into the class and sit at the second row in the class. Hendy had prepared it for me (obviously!!). During the lesson I only listened to what Pa Buchari said and I didn't make any notes from what he explained. I'm not in to writing that time.
Then I was supposed to have a Kontek Class. Nevertheless, there was no Pa Budi. So, we were told to join the Pa Agus's class while all of us refused to do so that we made an excuse saying we had better make the project assignment for next week class, kontek class. The assistance agree with us and he allow us to do so. Thus, we arranged the project and went home after we had finished. Dimas and I went to my motorbike and he checked it for me too. When everything seemed to be alright, I went home with only 4 "gigi" functioned (first, neutral, second, and third). How come it could happen??!!

UTS

2007-11-15T16:36:00.000+07:00

Just reporting, I got bad marks for the last 3 UTS in my campus. I dislike them so much. I got only B for the calculus because I didn't study as I had to. I got A for physics. Though it is A, it was only 79. But, I've complaint for a 5-point missing in the third problem. So, the real mark will be 84 after the next corection. The last one, chemistry, I got the highest score in the class, only 91,5. I don't know what else which is wrong. In my opinion (and I believe it true), I made only one blank and the others are correct (for the multiple choice part) and I got perfect score for the essay part. So, I thought I would get about 95 above. Although it's been high enough, I was still below one of my friend in another class. He got 1 point higher than me. Tomorrow is the last UTS1, Concepts in Engineering. I'm planning to get a high score again. I hope. (there's still hope to rely on)

The Jazz Way

2007-11-13T18:48:00.000+07:00

Jazz, as many other say, is one of the most complicated music genre. I've been studying this music for about nearly four years. I don't like the first two years of studying this jazz music. All I have to do was just memorizing the chords which are so many, so complicated. After that long term, I stepped to the next level, studying the scales. I thought it would be easier, but what I found was the more difficult exercise. I don't like it at all! It was tiring to memorize so many kinds of scale and the fingering too.
However, I finally stepped to the improvisation level. It was more difficult than before, but I like it though I was too lazy to do the exercise at home everyday. Now, I'm no more studying only the kinds of improvisation techniques. Now, I'm studying kinds of song in jazz world. It is more interesting than those former lessons.
What I like from jazz music is that it's easy for anybody not having met before to play in one musical band with one-minded way. Though it is quite complicated to decide whether he or another plays the improvisation first, it is fully enjoyable to play the music. Everybody has their own role in the play. This is what many people usually say about the jazz way, showing the one accord.
Eventhough there're so many music beside jazz, in my opinion, jazz is the most complicating one. You may see other music's musician/music player play their instrument more skillful or more complicated than jazz, but playing jazz is not just playing one kind of music because there are so many sub-kinds of music in jazz world and there are more differences between the music than those in other music genres. The kinds of chord are so many in jazz music, more than those used in other music genres.
Want to experience the more complicated music?? Join the jazz world!!

Life Mate

2007-11-13T00:59:00.000+07:00

It might seem to be important for nearly everybody in this world to have a life mate to walk this life. I just want to share my thought. In my life, there hasn't been even once a moment I like a girl or a woman or even think about having a mate to be by my side anytime I need. It was just like NAPZA for me because I think life could be succeed if I focus myself to that goal, not being disturbed by anything, especially a humanbeing.
But, after a few years I look on my friends at school and now at campus of most their lives, I still couldn't define what a life would be if a woman come to one's life and involve in nearly all one's emotional wave everytime. For me, in this age, a mate is just the same as "candu". I've made a plan in this life. I think I'll start to search for a mate after I reach my 21-year-old age.
In my mind, a life mate is not just simply a girl friend that is able to be changed anytime you want, but a humanbeing that you commit yourself to involve him/her in your life so deep as never done before that your life is not your own anymore because of him/her. And also, I'm not a man with that kind of thought that is easily change my girlfriend everytime I feel I'm not suitable anymore to her. It was quite a very important issue for me to have such a mate in life. Beside that, in my opinion, in my age there's still not enough capacity to think such thing maturely because the adults, commonly, even in their age, they still couldn't define what love is. For me, I will start to think that kind of think after I could define what love is, a bit silly..

Smile!

2007-11-13T00:46:00.000+07:00

It sounds common probably that everyone tells one another not to put on a distressed face, but rather the smiling one. It was the smiling face being the important point. It was rather the emotional condition of a person or commonly said as emotional quotient. I agree with those saying that Intelligent quotient is just a few percents of life success. Don't think those too high at first. Start from everyday life and you'll realize that your emotional quotient gives very important role in your way of life and the success you're reaching.
Once I was hardly smile everyday, except when I was in my private room, reading funny books. I realized then that my school achievement was largely influenced by this condition too which made my marks bad. Then I started new thing as I entered the acceleration class. No matter how difficult the problem I'm facing, there are things much more important to be concerned about that I had to lay aside all my unimportant problems first. Day by day I walked with that kind of mindset and it was amazing! I felt like I had no personal problems at all because my focus was not on my self but on everything around me, especially my work. Then I started to set my emotion on joyous condition all the time. It was just then I feel my life had changed totally into a new one.
So, everything must be started from setting your focus of life, not self-centered, and then start to enjoy your life with smile and many other little things and especially bring joy to your life.
Keep smiling!!

Maximization

2007-11-13T00:27:00.000+07:00

I felt absolutely tired today. It's been nothing to work on actually this morning. But, the problem is that I went back home after all church activities yesterday at about 10.30 p.m. And then I didn't sleep until 4.30 a.m the next morning, monday morning, and actually I was only sleeping for 40 minutes! One thing inside my mind keeping me this way is that no matter how tired I be, every joy is decision having to be made and I decide not to lose my joy everytime in my life, eventhough through the lowest and the most tiring condition of my body. Funnily, that kind of mindset made me easier to maximize my potency. By that I could work over twenty four hours without being stopped even for a while. That's why I used to be workaholic when I was at my senior high school grade.
The point here is that everything goes up from your mindset. The key of my ability to endure working for such an amazing time record nearly everyday is setting my mind to keep enjoying everything and liking or build the interest in the field I'm working no matter how undesireable it is. In my high school grade, I decided to reach the 3 top rank in the class while on that time I didn't like many subjects. So, what I did was I set my mind to like all the lessons given by any teachers and study them back at home everyday until dawn which made me sleep only for 2 or 3 hours a day. It was a bit difficult at the start, but I enjoyed too finally until I got the third rank every semester for the last 4 semesters.
You know what, I didn't realize myself that I could do such thing in this life. So, since that time, I never think of what I don't like or what I couldn't do. I rather think of what I could do to set my mind in line with my destiny. Thus, don't think of all things you cannot do, but rather of the things you should do in order to reach your destination in the future. Set your mind today!

Time Limit

2007-11-10T15:36:00.000+07:00

Unfortunately, it's been 3.47 p.m that I have to prepare myself to go to church. Actually, I still want to write many posts here. But, what else to do?? If I am asked to pray something by God that whatever I ask He will bring it forth, I would ask for additional time per day 6 hours at least so that it will broadened my time of working and studying. I always feel jealous if I saw my friends from other cities or provinces doesn't many activities like me that they are able to study as long as they want, not like me, having to study at the appointed time (significant time spent only to study and the other for other activities).
Or, if I am to be given a present (it's nearly my birthday..!!!), I would like to ask for an assistance or a PDA for scheduling my timetable everyday..

Butterfly Effects (Movie)

2007-11-10T15:12:00.000+07:00

I'm sure this film is quite popular since it is an old film. I was remembered about this film last week as I watched the advertising in trans tv (I don't know the synonym for advertising that match the context). I think it was impossible to do. The film from the beginning until nearly three quarter of the total film tells us about the life of the man (I forgot the name) which had a strange psycological problem in her brain. He was easy to forget the event happening just a few second before he forgot all things. And finally, there was no memory lost for 7 years until he was accepted in a university. Strangely, all things came to blow up again when his old friend was going out of jail. His friend pretended to kill him actually but what happened was not that. He killed his friend. Thus, he was sent to jail and in the jail he started to remember each event he forgot in the past since he was a child. Then something strange happened there. He started to read his diary and all things seemed to be happening again (in his mind). He started to jump from a kind of history to another which he thought might be better in the future. In fact, he went back to the past and changed the event he wanted to change and a few minutes later he went back to the future ( the time he was supposed to be in) and looked to the condition. If it didn't suit him, he would go back to the past and change a bit again and then went to the future again. It happened for times and finally he found the most suitable history to make the future better for him and for his friends from the past. The thing to be concerned is the ability to go beyond the time and change things the person wanted. It was just like making himself God.
In my opinion, he had made his choice in the past and that would result in his future life. He had to accept it. He had to agree with what he had done in the past would result in the future and there would need no regret. If anyone can change his/her past, all men will automatically had their own earth and decide what their earth would be like. As a matter of fact, we cannot do that. Your decision today would effect your future by means of time. And it cannot be denied.
So, my suggestion is decide your choice today carefully and walk in it! Don't ever regret of what you decide because it is life. I like what Oprah said a few days ago, trying is failing with honour. So, don't do anything in a concept of trying but rather do anything with confidence!

Raining (raining season??)

2007-11-10T14:46:00.001+07:00

It sounds strange probably if I tell you this story. There has been times of event cancelled because of me, for the open air event. Everytime I felt tired or just thinking I don't want to join that kind of event, and also praying for rain, it was raining just as I prayed. I still remember, two years ago, in my birthday, I had to go to a piano lesson after school and in that day I am not in mood of playing piano. I didn't pray anything to make the sky rains. I just didn't want to have that lesson that day. Eventually, it was raining hard! So I couldn't go out of school and I'm free that day.. It was just the same too as this. Once, I didn't want to have a PE lesson (physical exercise). So I just said to the sky to fall the rain and a few second later it was raining that we, the whole class (acceleration class) didn't have to go to Pajajaran GOR to have the lesson. It was funny actually for the other side of this thing. There had been so many times the sky was raining and I desired to go out in the open air without being wet. So I just looked toward the sky and tell it to stop the rain and it was astonishingly stopped!! The one I still remember until know was that when I wanted to go to IP (Istana Plaza) from school and it was raining quite hard that day, I commanded the sky to stop the rain until I went home. It did work! Oh ya, I remember too when I was driving my motorbike (actually, it was nearly everyday), going home, and that time it was nearly raining that I spoke to the sky to hold the rain not to fall until I arrived home. Amazingly, just as I arrived home the rain started to fall very hard! It was my life.. But, I felt a bit sorry for my friend, my new one, because I mever told him this story and that time (a week ago) he desired to have a PE lesson that day. On the other hand, I didn't want to have that lesson that day because I was terribly tired and I wanted to sleep very much. When we were having lunch together, there seemed to be no raining that day or would be raining but couldn't be predicted when it would be. Then I said (I just spoke up my desire) that there would be raining at 3.00 p.m. until evening. Funnily, the rain started at 2.00 p.m., but it was just a few minutes and then it was stopped. The real raining as I commanded started at 2.45 p.m. and it wasn't finished until we both went home. I'm sure he was thinking that I was just joking or just hoping that there would be raining at PE time while there wouldn't be raining at Pengling time. Nevertheless, all things go as I'd said.. Hahaha... (Sory to those wishing to have PE lesson last monday..)

The Fourth Blog

2007-11-08T18:34:00.000+07:00

Hi! My name is Christian, the full one is Christian Halim. I am still a student and now I'm studying in ITB (Institut Teknologi Bandung/Bandung Institute of Technology), in School of Electrical Engineering and Informatics faculty. I've decided to enter the Electrical Engineering one, not the Informatics, hopefully be fulfilled. As my name, I'm a male, still 17 now, a month to 18. I live in Bandung and originally came from Bandung. I live in the centre of Bandung, a bit southern.
My activities now, beside studying, are playing piano with my teacher and his jazz band once per month or three weeks. The cafe is Prima Taste, not quite a cafe, but rather a lounge. By the way, this year is my twelfth year of learning to play piano. I enjoy this kind of musical instrument very much.
Beside my music interest, I have another hobby too, drawing. Actually, since long time ago I've desired to enter an architecture school, which in Bandung the best one is UNPAR (universitas Parahyangan), the one in Ciumbuleuit. Before I entered ITB, I've been accepted there. I only have to pay about 15 million rupiahs for the next step of entering this university. However, my surrounding conditioned me to keep struggling to enter ITB by the SPMB path. So, I followed the instruction, and actually I persuaded my mind also to keep studying in order to enter that university. Unbelieveably, I was accepted in ITB in the STEI faculty! Thus, I followed all the procedure to be ITB's student until the payment step. Then, I was legally verified as ITB's student. Obviously, I didn't pay the fee for entering UNPAR. That was a brief history of my existence here in ITB in the faculty I haven't even imagined to be in.
About this life, I enjoy every step I take eventhough most of them are difficult to be faced. I joined the acceleration class in my senior high school grade which made me faster a year in entering university. In that phase I studied to maximize myself in every second of my step. Nearly everyday I slept for only 2 to 3 hours a day. I was terribly tiring. Believe it or not, that environment formed me to be workacholic, just like my close friend now in ITB, although he is much more workacholic than me. I realized then that I could go beyond all boundaries I've thought I had so far. In the final step, I got the rank of third best student among all acceleration students in SMAK 1 BPK Penabur Bdg. It was astonishing! You won't believe it! When I entered this class in the first year, I got only the 7th rank. Nevertheless, I gradually got higher rank until I constantly got the third rank every semester. Eventhough I was quite distressed for those two years in acceleration class, I learned many things about life, so much from every tear falling, from every failure, from the unique social life I underwent, and so much more. From those situation I learned how to lay aside all unimportant things of life and focus myself to one thing I have to do that time. It was difficult on the first time, but I gradually got used to it too. To me, this step of life gave impact the most to my being now, the one forming myself to be this kind now, 180 degrees upside down my life before I entered high school. For me, in all my way I study to live not living to study. I still disagree the opinions of my friends in my campus which stated that their focus is to study, or to be successful only in men's rate.
Overall, I hope you enjoy reading this blog.
Regard,
Christian